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Title: Anger Busting 101: The New ABC's for Angry Men & the Women Who Love Them by Newton Hightower, David C. Kay ISBN: 1-886298-04-1 Publisher: Bayou Publishing Pub. Date: 01 March, 2002 Format: Paperback Volumes: 1 List Price(USD): $14.95 |
Average Customer Rating: 4.91 (11 reviews)
Rating: 4
Summary: Helpful program for those with rage problems
Comment: In "Anger Busting 101" Newton Hightower provides a framework for change that anyone can use. The author starts by establishing his credentials - he is not only a professional therapist but has had an anger problem that nearly ruined his life. He tried the therapies that were thought to help but was not successful. In fact, he found that many of the traditional therapies actually made his problem worse.
In this text he goes over the techniques that he found actually worked to change his life. These techniques came out of a whole new approach to anger, this approach is to treat anger as a recovery situation. This brings me to the only item that I had a problem with in the book. In chapter 3 he discusses how to respond to questions of "why" from a spouse, sibling, or other person. For example, if asked why you got so angry and threw the lamp against the wall then you should use one of the answers given in the text. The basic idea of the answers is understandable as they focus on the angry person taking responsibility for their anger and actions. However, the way they are worded is highly questionable. For example, one response is "I'm crazy" or another is "I'm stupid". Current traditional psychotherapy would say to word it more along the lines of "What I did was a crazy thing to do" or "I did a stupid thing". Taking responsibility for your actions is one thing but taking it to the point of putting yourself down and endangering your self esteem when angry people often already have low self esteem does not seem like a good idea to me. Then again it is hard to argue with results. From the cases listed in the book and the comments from other people that have used it successfully it does seem to work.
If anger is controlling you in any way and you want to start living a postive and fulfilling life then this book is for you. I would use caution with the wording in Chapter 3 and feel that you could take responsibility without the self-deprication, but other than that this book seems to offer hope to people who have been unsuccessful in controling their rage in the past. A highly recommended read.
Rating: 5
Summary: Hightower has done it again!
Comment: Hightower has done it again! Anger Busting 101 is a must-read for therapists as well as angry men and their partners. This book is loaded with practical suggestions for healing relationships. Hightower's lighthearted approach manages to both enlighten and entertain. With self deprecating humor(rare for therapists), Hightower places himself on a level playing field with his readers. Hightower's personal journey in battling rage addiction remains an inspiration to angry men everywhere.
Rebecca Strick LMSW-ACP
Rating: 5
Summary: Calming the Volcano
Comment: "Destructive anger hurts your health, makes you miserable, blocks solutions, wastes your energy, keeps you helpless, invites attacks, imprisons your spirit, wrecks human relations, gives you headaches, causes accidents, ruins restful sleep and turns a love life into a lonely life." ~Newton Hightower
Are some men addicted to rage? Can anger addiction be similar to alcohol addiction? Are there really biochemical changes in our bodies when we become angry, swear or pound things?
Newton Hightower was once a rageaholic who tried meditation, pillow-pounding and other methods, to no avail. He kept thinking he could gain control and change his behavior. Through his own experience with rage, and the consequences of being fired and becoming depressed, he developed the Recovery Method.
Did you know that children whose parents fight are more depressed than children from non-fighting families?
Did you know there is a way to control your conversations. It is not only humorous, it
will be very healing for your partner.
The conversation on pg. 45 is just a brilliant example. A man who is in control of his emotions, can say he is sorry and can admit to being wrong can be very sexy. Especially if he is controlling his emotions and making you feel safe and secure at the same time. There are ways to make a woman blossom and there are ways to kill her spirit. This book discusses both. Often, fighting is a way to say: "You are not paying me any attention, so I'll fight with you and get your attention."
The author offers:
15 Behaviors to avoid when angry. Some behaviors to avoid are: "Speaking, being sarcastic, yelling, criticizing, interrupting and name-calling."
20 Principles to replace negative traits - This list will encourage spiritual change that will not only benefit a marriage relationship. It will help men live on a deeper level.
11 Comments partners should avoid in order to defuse tense situations.
9 Ideas to help partners overcome their angry outbursts
7 Guidelines for effective communication with angry partners
Anger can destroy relationships and Newton Hightower went through two divorces before he realized his anger was a contributing factor in the failure of his marriages. Surprisingly, he was also trying to cure rage in others and it was making their rage worse. He had not found the answers. He then decided that if rage could be increased, it could also be decreased. He found the answers through a painful personal journey.
This book is divided into three main sections. The Introduction explains anger and also gives an Anger Self-Assessment Test.
Section I: The ABCs for Angry Men
Section II: Decision Time for Women
Section III: The ABCs for Women Who Are Training Angry Men
Throughout the book, you will find cute cartoons, great examples, enlightening quotes, conversations and statistics. I found this book to be insightful, truthful and informative. Now only will you find out the truth about anger, you will be enlightened in a new way. These principles can be used to improve communication on all levels.
This book is filled with truth. As a woman, I can say that yes, it can take a long time to get over the emotional pain of being verbally abused. No matter how short the argument, it can leave a woman damaged and even suicidal. A woman will often just stop speaking because she has become that angry herself. I would rather hear "I love you, I?m sorry for what I just said," than "I'm crazy."
Some of the conversations were such beautiful examples of how a man can take control of his relationships and really show the woman he is with that he loves her more than he loves his anger. I also enjoyed the wisdom gained from a variety of cultures and religions.
Chapter four is interesting and frightening. There are women all over America who live in fear of being at home. It was shocking to learn that twice as many women are killed by their husbands or boyfriends than are murdered by strangers. The author explains how some men are Cobras and others are Pit Bulls. He also explains how you should protect yourself. There is a list of organizations to assist women who are being battered.
If you are a man who wants to stop fault-finding, sarcasm, arguing, self-justification, rage and violence, this program might save your marriage, help you keep your job, keep you out of prison or prevent death. In general, this book can encourage healthy relationships.
If you are a woman, this might be the book you have been searching for. Finally you might be able to have a conversation with your husband without being verbally abused and finally live in an emotionally healthy climate.
The principles in "Anger Busting 101" encourage men to change their behavior quickly, dramatically and forever. If you are experiencing verbal abuse from the man you love, I can highly recommend this book. You will finally know if you should leave, stay and help your husband or seek counseling yourself. Anger will not only destroy a relationship, it can destroy your entire life.
You can make Peace with Your Anger.
You can make Your Relationships More Peaceful.
This is a guide to Peace. There is hope that you can calm the volcano and stop the destruction before it overflows into the lives of those you love.
~The Rebecca Review.com
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Title: Beyond Anger: A Guide for Men: How to Free Yourself from the Grip of Anger and Get More Out of Life by Thomas J. Harbin ISBN: 1569246211 Publisher: Marlowe & Company Pub. Date: 14 March, 2000 List Price(USD): $14.95 |
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Title: Overcoming Anger and Irritability by William Davies ISBN: 0814719414 Publisher: New York University Press Pub. Date: September, 2001 List Price(USD): $14.95 |
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Title: The Anger Habit : Proven Principles to Calm the Stormy Mind by Carl Semmelroth, D E P Smith ISBN: 0595140807 Publisher: Writer's Showcase Press Pub. Date: 01 November, 2000 List Price(USD): $9.95 |
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Title: The Anger Habit Workbook : Proven Principles to Calm the Stormy Mind by Carl Semmelroth ISBN: 0595245625 Publisher: Writers Club Press Pub. Date: 17 September, 2002 List Price(USD): $9.95 |
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Title: Angry All the Time: An Emergency Guide to Anger Control by Ron Potter-Efron, Ronald T. Potter-Efron ISBN: 1879237970 Publisher: New Harbinger Pubns Pub. Date: October, 1994 List Price(USD): $13.95 |
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