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The Five Love Languages of Children

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Title: The Five Love Languages of Children
by Gary D. Chapman, Ross Campbell
ISBN: 1-881273-65-2
Publisher: Northfield Pub
Pub. Date: June, 1997
Format: Paperback
Volumes: 1
List Price(USD): $12.99
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Average Customer Rating: 4.5 (16 reviews)

Customer Reviews

Rating: 5
Summary: Adds another dimension to communicating effectively
Comment: This outstanding book addresses how each child (adults as well) expresses and receives love best through one of five primary "languages" - quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, or physical touch. Although children need to be spoken to in each of these love languages, there's one love language that meets their deepest emotional needs and should be used often with them (and authors caution how you use that language for discipline). The information in this book complements books that address communicating with children based on their temperament (such as "Raising your Spirited Child" and "Kids, Parents, and Power Struggles" by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka). I also appreciate that the author included an informative chapter on "love languages in marriage", instead of just a one-liner encouraging readers to buy his book dedicated to that subject.

Bottom line - Even if you've read tons of parenting books, you will truly learn something new from this one - something to enhance your relationship with your child and adults in your life. You'll probably even learn something about yourself.

Rating: 4
Summary: Miracle balm for your family life
Comment: In his previous book "The Five Love Languages," best-selling author Gary Chapman contends that there are five major methods of love-giving ("love languages"), and each person responds differently to each type. Each person also "speaks" a primary love language, and responds strongly to one of the types of love-giving. Chapman identifies these love languages as: physical touch, gifts, quality time, acts of service, and words of affirmation. In order to best make someone feel loved, you must "speak" their primary love language to them.

In this book, Chapman is teamed up with best-selling author Ross Campbell, who has written some very successful books on relationships with children. The premise of this book is that the love languages are not only applicable to the adults in your life, but to your children as well, and can in fact have a major effect on their behavior and happiness.

The book begins with a general discussion of love languages, some stories illustrating the dramatic difference that utilizing the knowledge of love languages has made in some parents' relationships with their children, and an overview of the book. Chapman and Campbell then discuss each love language in a chapter of its own, complete with real-life examples of each love language in the lives of parents and children.

The book then launches into a discussion of discipline (do NOT use a form of discipline related to your child's love language, warn the authors), as well as a brief discussion of the effect that the love language theory can have on your adult relationships (for a more in-depth discussion, see Chapman's "The Five Love Languages"). There is also quite a long discussion of "passive agressiveness" which I thought to be a bit overkill, but I'm sure is very important in the treatment of the topic (I have a feeling that this is co-author Ross Campbell's pet subject).

The information in this book is very powerful and has the potential to radically alter your relationships with your children, as well as anyone else in your life. The testamonials are very convincing, and the fact that this book, as well as others in the "Love Languages" series have enjoyed such wild success is a testimony to their effectiveness. My only complaint really was that some of the writing occasionally tended toward the cheesy side, and that often I was aware of the differences in the voices of the two authors. These are unimportant complaints, however, and do not deter me from recommending the book highly!

This book would be useful reading for any parent, no matter the quality of relationships within the family, as well as anyone else who is dealing with children on a regular basis (teachers, grandparents, babysitters, etc.).

Rating: 4
Summary: Helpful with examples
Comment: Gary Chapman identifies 5 ways children experience love. He suggests that each child has one or two primary ways of feeling loved. The book can therefore help people maximize their emotional impact with children by employing those primary areas during interactions with the children in their lives.

The redundant nature of the description of the 5 "languages" and excessive story telling force me to give this book 4 stars. Otherwise the information and examples are helpful to those willing to make the effort to improve their relationships with children.

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