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The Survivor's Guide to Sex: How to Have an Empowered Sex Life After Child Sexual Abuse

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Title: The Survivor's Guide to Sex: How to Have an Empowered Sex Life After Child Sexual Abuse
by Staci Haines
ISBN: 1-57344-079-5
Publisher: Cleis Press
Pub. Date: April, 1999
Format: Paperback
Volumes: 1
List Price(USD): $24.95
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Average Customer Rating: 4.36 (14 reviews)

Customer Reviews

Rating: 5
Summary: Bring assertiveness and knowledge to your sex life!
Comment: The tone of this book keeps the reader interested and not overwhelmed. Sometimes self-help book activities can be so emotionally taxing that you leave it behind. The Survivor's Guide to Sex slowly eased the reader through exploration of sexual views while providing clear and thorough explanations of all aspects of sex. It was an eye opening to read all of the details I had always been afraid to ask! After finishing the book, I felt much more comfortable with MY views on sex, and not the pain or negativeness I used to associate with it. This book is great for any survivor of sexual abuse, with it's strength being detailed information.

Rating: 5
Summary: I've been waiting for someone to write a book like this
Comment: For the past eight years, I have been slowly, painstakingly discovering for myself many of the techniques that Staci Haines details in this book. As far as I am aware, I am not a survivor of child sexual abuse, but I have many of the same difficulties - lack of trust, unclear boundaries, easily triggered, difficulty being sexually present.

I looked at books on recovery; they seemed only to tell me that it was OK to not have sex. I looked at TONS of books on sex and none addressed my difficulties - until The Survivor's Guide to Sex. I can say from my own experience that it's not easy to put Staci's suggestions into practice, nor do the rewards necessarily come quickly. But for some of us, this is the only way we're going to reclaim our sexuality.

I highly recommend this book if you feel numb, shut-down, or angry during sex, whether or not you are a "survivor". Chances are you have some deep healing work to do, and this book is the only guide I've seen for doing it.

Rating: 5
Summary: amazing, revelatory, empowering
Comment: as a survivor of rape and sexual abuse, i have read a bunch of books on the aftereffects of assault, being a survivor, et cetera, but most of the stuff out there is pretty dry and basic and i just didn't find it very helpful. this book is direct, incredibly right-on, it gives you hands on techniques for staying present in your body, it includes an amazing discussion of triggering. it also uses down to earth language and is not too self-help-y, and it acknowledges that certain terms might be alienating and medicalizing for some people.
FYI: although it is targetted at female survivors of child sexual abuse, i myself am not a woman, and the sexual assault/abuse i experienced occured during my teenage years, not my childhood. i still found the book very useful. there is also a great chapter aimed at partners of survivors.

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