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Title: My Guy: A Gay Man's Guide to a Lasting Relationship by Martin Kantor ISBN: 1-57071-967-5 Publisher: Sourcebooks Pub. Date: 01 May, 2002 Format: Paperback Volumes: 1 List Price(USD): $15.00 |
Average Customer Rating: 4.38 (8 reviews)
Rating: 5
Summary: Surprisingly Profound Yet Very Simple
Comment: This book is remarkable, it is simply written but so very clear and direct. I had not thought about looking for a man and dating him, because my interest in gay relations is half-hearted, since I am not focused exclusively on men......but after reading this book I know I should find a boyfriend because the sex will be so much better and I can build certainty into my lifestyle.......and he shows me how to find my man......frankly, I had not considered actively looking for a boyfriend and now it seems quite exciting, a validation of gay couples and I can find a partner who is compatible instead of just being available......this book amazes me and my initial scepticism was unjust......let's see if I have the courage to follow his suggestions in the cold light of day......
Rating: 5
Summary: Here's Another Book that Became My Bible
Comment: Martin Kantor's book, My Guy: A Gay man's Guide to a Lasting Relationship is one of those few books that I would classify as
one of my Bibles. I enjoyed reading this book because it was in-
sightful and highly motivating. It also gives valuable informa-
tion on psychological concepts, etc.
Although the book is geared to a gay clientele, individuals of
other orientations can certainly benefit from reading this book.
Once My Guy is read completely, it can be refered to again to re-
fresh one's memory or to consult about certain issues.
In the introduction it stated that many other books on the same subject tend to be superficial and light weight in approach.
I found this to be true as far as another book that I read en-
titled Husband Hunting Made Easy. It had advice such as "Never date
anyone better looking than you; Don't date men who wax; and Never date anyone with the same first name."
In addition, My Guy presents information on how to become Mr.
Right for someone else, how to worm one's way into another's heart, and, what I found to be truly helpful, the concept that one needs to network with others in order to meet that special
person.
As a person who has done historical and cultural research, I
find Kantor's advice to not dedicate one's life to becoming famous and/or leaving ones' mark on the world somewhat difficult to follow. However this is one area where perhaps some of us need to work on or modify somewhat in order to fullfill our needs. (This advice that is being referred to is found in Kantor's section on distractions.)
An important message for gay men to hear is what surely is the
main idea of this book, which in summary is, "Being in a relation
ship is better than not being in one. So get into a relationship! Stop looking for that knight in shining armour. If a guy is good enough, then go for it."
Reading Kantor's book with its step by step process will definitely change your life.
Rating: 4
Summary: Mother-Wit and Father-Wisdom--For Those Who Can Hear
Comment: A worthy book-unflinching but also competent and caring. Kantor affirms that a relationship has many values, then offers a nine-step guide to ready oneself toward gaining it. His candid insider's view of the gay male "scene" (and psyche) incisively presents much "dirty laundry," but only the better to wash it clean.
Effective? Well, he does as much as printed words can to help any gay man who is already together enough potentially to be capable of these self-improvements on his own without formal therapy. To such candidates he issues gentle wake-up calls away from general immaturity of self, and ineffectiveness in seeking a man. Become your better self for your hoped-for "better half." (Only hope that the man you seek has also already read this book-or didn't have to...)
We have here considerable craftiness-not bad manipulation, just a laser-radar for finding gay men virtually everywhere. We have mature strategy and tactics. We don't have to be doormats to the other person, but we do need to be flexible, and descend from the many "high horses" which human flesh, men especially, and gay men also, are heir to. (Or as he says, balance between being "a shy shrinking violet and an intrusive Venus flytrap.")
So Kantor's subtle, complex, both-and view (present in his other books also) counsels balance. He says act happy but not euphoric. Be calm but not withdrawn. Be assertive but not pushy. And more.
Oh, and all of it seasoned with frequent (and relevant) fine flashes of the best Jewish-mother wry wit, too. Seasoned wisdom here.
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Title: Male Couple's Guide to Living Together: Finding a Man, Making a Home, Building a Life by Eric Marcus ISBN: 006095275X Publisher: Perennial Pub. Date: 01 April, 1999 List Price(USD): $17.00 |
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Title: Ten Smart Things Gay Men Can Do to Improve Their Lives by Joe Kort ISBN: 1555837824 Publisher: Alyson Publications Pub. Date: 01 July, 2003 List Price(USD): $14.95 |
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Title: Mr. Right Is Out There: The Gay Man's Guide to Finding and Maintaining Love by Kenneth George ISBN: 1555835066 Publisher: Alyson Publications Pub. Date: 01 April, 2000 List Price(USD): $13.95 |
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Title: Husband Hunting Made Easy: And Other Miracles for the Modern Gay Man by Patrick Price, Eric Orner ISBN: 0312187270 Publisher: St. Martin's Press Pub. Date: 01 July, 1998 List Price(USD): $12.95 |
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Title: Boyfriend 101: A Gay Guy's Guide to Dating, Romance, and Finding True Love by Jim Sullivan ISBN: 0812992199 Publisher: Villard Books Pub. Date: 13 May, 2003 List Price(USD): $12.95 |
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