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Title: The Nurture Assumption: Why Children Turn Out the Way They Do: Parents Matter Less Than You Think and Peers Matter More by Judith Rich Harris, Paula Parker ISBN: 1-55927-539-1 Publisher: St. Martin's Press Pub. Date: November, 1998 Format: Audio Cassette Volumes: 2 List Price(USD): $16.95 |
Average Customer Rating: 3.7 (83 reviews)
Rating: 5
Summary: Every parent should read this book
Comment: For the last century, child development experts have searched for the causes of human's personalities in two places: genetics and the family environment. Nature or nurture. Former psychology textbook author Judith Rich Harris offers a fresh perspective on this problem.
Through detailed analysis of data on language acquisition, twin studies, and anthropological research, Harris determines that the family environment, and in particular, parental styles, have little influence on the personality of their children. While fifty percent of the personality differences can be attributed to genetics, Harris argues the other fifty percent of personality differences arise from a child's peer groups. Furthermore, parental style has practically no influence on a child's personality.
In a clear and thorough manner, Harris buttresses her argument through examples from the language acquisition of immigrant children, the social life of rhesus monkeys, anthropological research of primitive child raising techniques, twin studies, and her own personal life.
Harris's argument is so persuasive and clear, the reader will miss the fundamental shift in thinking it represents. Since the time of Freud, child development theorists have argued that the way that parents treat their children-especially at a very young age-have tremendous influence on adult human behavior. This dominant view of parental influence is so prevalent in modern society that parents walk on eggshells, paralyzed with the fear of doing the wrong thing and [messing] up their children.
Harris's book calls for a more humble view of parenting. Based upon her arguments, parents should no longer worry about [messing] up their children. No longer sculptor to their child's Pygmalion, parents should focus on improving their own relationship with their children and, when possible, providing their children with a stable group of friends that share their values.
Harris has written a rare and important book, one that will influence a generation of child development scientists in the same way that Richard Dawkin's THE SELFISH GENE influenced a generation of evolutionary biologists. And like Dawkin's seminal work, Harris has written her book in prose both entertaining and accessible to people unfamiliar with the details of her chosen specialty.
This book should be on every parent's bookshelf.
Rating: 5
Summary: Another very well written book on how children mature
Comment: This book is outstanding for two reasons. First, the author wrote university textbooks about how parents influence their children and from her own observations and subsequent research realized that the data was flawed. The radical environmentalist dogma was using very slim data to make statements about human behavior that just was not true. Second, it is complete and very easy to read. A book that should be read by every parent, either to help raise children or parents who have failed and felt it was all their fault.
The book puts forth concepts that are well established now in behavior genetics, evolutionary psychology, etc. It takes a new look at the interaction between parents and children, and between children's peer groups. It is now recognized now that children, from a very early age, are all about exploring the world and finding their own niche, and they do this in several contexts. For example, they may show one set of moral rules while around the family, and a completely separate set of moral rules while amongst their friends, and they can switch between the two contexts easily.
The book is a fascinating adventure into a world that is known by researchers but has not yet filtered down to the press or society. There are too many social scientists and social workers who have too much at stake at blaming every fault or good a child has on the parents. This book tackles not only the nurture assumption, but also rounds out the behavior of children with an explanation of the genetic components as well. This is a must read for anyone stuck in the 60's dogma, especially Dr. Laura (sp?). This author thoroughly repudiates most of Dr. Laura's assumptions. And they are all based on the latest research, not just wishful thinking about how children should behave.
Rating: 5
Summary: The Most Important Book a Parent Can Read
Comment: Judith Rich Harris has written a book that not only turns our culture's assumptions about child-rearing upside down, but also does so in a read that is funny, witty, and very enjoyable. The book provides a great deal of evidence that what we are told by the "experts" on child-rearing is often unsupported conjecture, and often fashioned from whole cloth. Yet we as parents continue to follow along, terrified of the possibility of being labeled by our peers as bad parents. The nail that sticks up is hammered down.
The book does not pretend to be a child-rearing manual, and in fact offers little advice for raising children. Its purpose is to make us question the assumptions by which we raise our children. The confrontational, irreverant, and occasionally flippant tone of the book is necessary to help the reader step outside the box and look objectively at what we as parents have considered our sacred duties.
The reviews critical of the book from homeschoolers are laughable. ... For the record, I think Ms. Harris is wrong about homeschool, but that's no reason to ignore 400 pages of paradigm-shifting thought.
As a father of two, I feel this is the most important book I have ever read. And the funny thing is, I have developed a much better relationship with my children since I took the book's principles to heart. Once I set myself free from the responsibility to "mold" my children into good adults, I began to enjoy my children, and they me, so much more.
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Title: The Blank Slate: The Modern Denial of Human Nature by Steven Pinker ISBN: 0670031518 Publisher: Viking Press Pub. Date: 26 September, 2002 List Price(USD): $27.95 |
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Title: Nature Via Nurture : Genes, Experience, and What Makes Us Human by Matt Ridley ISBN: 0060006781 Publisher: HarperCollins Pub. Date: 29 April, 2003 List Price(USD): $25.95 |
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Title: The Limits of Family Influence: Genes, Experience, and Behavior by David C. Rowe ISBN: 0898621488 Publisher: Guilford Press Pub. Date: 02 August, 1995 List Price(USD): $24.00 |
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Title: The Myth of the First Three Years : A New Understanding of Early Brain Development and Lifelong Learning by John Bruer ISBN: 0743242602 Publisher: Free Press Pub. Date: 05 April, 2002 List Price(USD): $18.95 |
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Title: How the Mind Works by Steven Pinker ISBN: 0393318486 Publisher: W.W. Norton & Company Pub. Date: 01 January, 1999 List Price(USD): $17.95 |
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