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Title: French or Foe?: Getting the Most Out of Visiting, Living and Working in France by Polly Platt, Walter J. P. Curley, Ande Grchich ISBN: 0-9646684-0-8 Publisher: Distribooks Intl Pub. Date: January, 1998 Format: Paperback Volumes: 1 List Price(USD): $16.95 |
Average Customer Rating: 4.09 (47 reviews)
Rating: 5
Summary: Essential reading for Americans moving to Paris
Comment: I have lived in Paris for thirteen years, and "French or Foe" is the ONE book I recommend to all the new arrivals I meet. Yes, even those who already speak good French, which makes a lot less difference than you might think to the culture shock. That is because this book is the most directly helpful. The advice in "French or Foe" can make a real difference to your everyday happiness if you live or travel here, especially if you are having a hard time. There are few people, indeed, who could extract no useful information from this book; even they will at least have some good laughs, since the book is full of funny and usually enlightening anecdotes. My French friends who have read the French translation say they all learned something about themselves!
The fact is, some things about France will always be difficult for us "Anglo-Saxons" (as the French call all native English-speakers), no matter how assimilated. Human nature may be the same everywhere, but the basic assumptions of our two cultures are very different. I'm sure things are hard for the French in America too. But Polly Platt's book makes the hardest things easier. She gives you practical advice and clear reasons why the French behave in puzzling ways.
For example, in America if you complain to a store manager about a store employee, the employee is very likely to get into trouble, and you will certainly get an apology. In France, the store manager will try to put you in the wrong. That is because in France, it is almost impossible to fire someone, so the manager will have to live with the employee for a long time to come, and is better off antagonizing a single (foreign) customer. Therefore, if you have a complaint, you have to try to save the employee's and the manager's face, while presenting your problem as something that their expertise can help you with. This really works! And the MAGIC phrase, "Excuse me for bothering you, but I have a problem" is one of the great keys for how to get along in France. There are many of these tips in the book.
Just this week, I forgot one of "French or Foe"'s lessons and left a meeting without shaking everyone's hand. They were all visibly shocked. To the French, this is terribly bad manners. Yet of course it is not in America. I only recently discovered that it was Just Not Done to wish people here "Happy New Year" before the New Year had actually arrived! "Common sense" doesn't necessarily help when you are in a different culture. This is where "French or Foe" steps in.
Yes, the formal dinner party information may seem a bit out of date, and is perhaps irrelevant to most readers; but believe it or not, this kind of dinner party is still thriving in certain parts of Paris, and since it is exactly the kind of thing that makes Americans feel most uncomfortable, I don't think it is amiss to have a few tips on how to handle one. If nothing else, knowing the formal routine could make dinner with the boss or the friend's grandparents, or a birthday meal in a fancy restaurant, less intimidating.
The main gap in the book is probably the relative lack of information for younger people meeting the French in more casual settings. That is not the author's background. However, it's also true Americans don't tend to have as much trouble with that environment, which is more similar to their own. And those "casual" young French people often have surprisingly different ideas from the "casual" young Americans-- this book helps explain why.
I have to admit that this book is not for everyone.
It's not necessarily for young students: they are likely to meet French kids their own age who speak English and have a more international outlook, and they tend to have protective arrangements made for them before they arrive. It's not necessarily for people who live in the provinces: "French or Foe" is Paris-centered (as is France itself!). Some French people announce angrily that the France in this book is not THEIR France. Of course not! THEIR France has their own loving friends and relatives; their own native language; their own personal past; their own habits and manners learned implicitly in childhood. All advantages a foreigner does not have. The claim that their own foreign acquaintances do not have problems in France can be taken with a grain of salt: how many foreigners complain about a country to its natives, rather than to their own compatriots? No, this book is about France as experienced by Americans. (Although at least two British people whom I have met here were given "French or Foe" by the British embassy and told to read it before moving.) And it does a great job explaining things that are hard for us to understand about this wonderful country. Vive la France!
Rating: 5
Summary: Avoid the "Ugly American" Tag
Comment: Polly Platt can save your vacation! I am a huge fan of both of her books on getting along with the French. They have had a huge impact on my travels and my comfort level abroad--and not just in France. They start you thinking about the different mindset of the Europeans in a way that makes it easy (with minor adjustments for each country) to get along practically everywhere. I've lived in Geneva, Florence, London and Rome since reading French or Foe and Savoir Flair, as well as traveled to Paris and other parts of France, and cannot tell you the number of times her tips have gotten me out of sticky situations or helped me understand the undercurrent of a conversation in a way that others who have not read them do not. With respect for Americans at an all time low world-wide, Platt's books clue you into a way of behaving that not only will make you look "in the know," but will also reflect well on your country. A great present for anyone traveling to France, especially exchange students interested in an exclusive picture of French life and culture.
Rating: 5
Summary: Outstanding cultural immersion in the safety of a paperback
Comment: French or Foe was not only an entertaining read, but it was also highly enlightening. Polly Platt provides countless examples of Americans who just couldn't grok the French, suggests how the French perceive the world and recommends ways of approaching the situation better. She covers the gamut of common situations from business meetings (e.g., the importance of shaking hands), the systeme'D, and the delicate etiquette expected during the highly coveted dinner (assume you won't see a toilet during the evening, never ask the host for the recipe, and keep quiet). THere's a wealth of French history filling out some of the more curious angles, as well as copious emphasis on core values such as education in mathematics and science. After reading this I began to understand them more and appreciated their uniqueness.
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Title: Savoir-Flair: 211 Tips for Enjoying France and the French by Polly Platt, Ande Grchich ISBN: 0964668416 Publisher: Distribooks Intl Pub. Date: June, 2000 List Price(USD): $16.95 |
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Title: Sixty Million Frenchmen Can't Be Wrong: Why We Love France but Not the French by Jean-Benoit Nadeau, Julie Barlow ISBN: 1402200455 Publisher: Sourcebooks Trade Pub. Date: May, 2003 List Price(USD): $16.95 |
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Title: Cultural Misunderstandings: The French-American Experience by Raymonde Carroll, Carol Volk ISBN: 0226094987 Publisher: University of Chicago Press Pub. Date: June, 1990 List Price(USD): $14.00 |
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Title: French Toast : An American in Paris Celebrates the Maddening Mysteries of the French by Harriet Welty Rochefort ISBN: 0312199783 Publisher: St. Martin's Press Pub. Date: 15 November, 1998 List Price(USD): $19.95 |
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Title: Au Contraire! Figuring Out The French by Gilles Asselin, Ruth Mastron ISBN: 187786482X Publisher: Intercultural Press Pub. Date: 01 January, 2001 List Price(USD): $21.95 |
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