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Title: Forgiving Our Parents Forgiving Ourselves: Healing Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families by David, Dr. Stoop, David A. Stoop, James Masteller ISBN: 0-89283-992-9 Publisher: Vine Books Pub. Date: January, 1997 Format: Paperback Volumes: 1 List Price(USD): $13.99 |
Average Customer Rating: 4.29 (7 reviews)
Rating: 5
Summary: Therapy from a Systems Perspective
Comment: Dr. David Stoop speaks in terms that may resonate with engineering-types.
He describes families in a systems approach using language such as "homeostasis", "action-reaction", and "non-linear systems".
As an example, we cannot react to a family problem/dysfunction in an "action-reaction" or "linear" manner. We must realize that each member plays a distinct role, essential for maintaining the homeostasis (i.e., thermostat) of the family system. Thus, each role must be examined prior to formulating a conclusion about the problem. He and James Masteller contribute many examples that support this hypothesis.
This book is essential if you are dealing with any type of emotional malady--depression, anxiety, anger, bitterness, stress, etc. Chances are likely that these maladies have found root through a family dysfunction that may have occurred years ago!
The workbook found in the book's epilogue is practical if one is *serious* about dealing with a dysfunction.
Rating: 1
Summary: Bradshaw Light
Comment: I thought this book just tread the same path as John Bradshaw (whom he quotes) with a few biblical examples thrown in. I didn't find anything in this book that I hadn't seen before.
Rating: 5
Summary: A path to healing
Comment: I always thought I was the one in the family who was *not* in denial - the one who called things as they saw them, but this book showed me that I too, had been in denial.
I'd hit parts of this book that were so upsetting or so revealing that I had to set the book aside for a time and think deeply about what I'd read.
And it relieved me of tons of guilt and shame I'd carried for years. Quite frankly, this book was an answer to prayer, but it took some wading through the mire and muck to get to the fresh, pure waters.
After reading one chapter and doing an exercise, I recalled a painful incident when a family friend harmed me and I told my father about it and he didn't even want to hear about it. My father accused me of being a liar.
Subsequently, I made some poor choices in life and I'd always kind of wondered how I'd wandered down that bad path. Stoop's book helped me connect some of the random looking dots and see what happened, why it happened, and why it is okay to forgive myself and forgive the others who let me down.
First and foremost, this is a book about healing. The very last chapter though, is rich. It's a section you'll want to read again and again.
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Title: Healing for Damaged Emotions (Personal Growth Bookshelf) by David A. Seamands, Gary R. Collins ISBN: 0896939383 Publisher: Chariot Victor Books Pub. Date: October, 1991 List Price(USD): $10.99 |
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Title: Forgive Your Parents, Heal Yourself: How Understanding Your Painful Family Legacy Can Transform Your Life by Barry Grosskopf ISBN: 068482406X Publisher: Free Press Pub. Date: June, 1999 List Price(USD): $25.00 |
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Title: Genograms by Emily Marlin ISBN: 0809244942 Publisher: McGraw-Hill/Contemporary Books Pub. Date: 01 April, 1989 List Price(USD): $16.95 |
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Title: Pastors at Greater Risk by H. B., Jr. London, Neil B. Wiseman, James C. Dobson ISBN: 0830729038 Publisher: Gospel Light Pubns Pub. Date: April, 2003 List Price(USD): $18.99 |
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Title: Secrets of Your Family Tree: Healing for Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families by Dave Carder, Earl Henslin, John Townsend, Henry Cloud, Alice Brawand ISBN: 0802477496 Publisher: Moody Publishers Pub. Date: March, 1995 List Price(USD): $14.99 |
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