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Title: Living Alone and Loving It: A Guide to Relishing the Solo Life by Barbara Feldon ISBN: 0-7432-3517-7 Publisher: Fireside Pub. Date: 10 December, 2002 Format: Paperback Volumes: 1 List Price(USD): $10.00 |
Average Customer Rating: 4.64 (11 reviews)
Rating: 5
Summary: It's good to be alone. There is nothing wrong with it.
Comment: I have read and reread this book. I have recommended to someone I know and she has also recommended this book to others. I love the way she writes and the personal examples she uses. It is very easy to read and to understand. Anyone single of either sex will appreciate this book. It doesn't matter whether you are divorced, separated, widowed, or never married (like me). I am surrounded by people in my life who are happily married and urging me to get in a relationship. It is nice to have this book to remind me that it is okay to be single. This doesn't have to be a couples' world. I am not someone who typically dates "around" so it's great to feel like there is nothing wrong with me because I am single and not currently dating. Being alone and being lonely are not the same things. Barbara Feldon clearly expresses this. She even gives tips to overcoming loneliness. In fact, there is a whole chapter on the subject. She emphasizes the positive aspects of being alone.
Rating: 5
Summary: I read it in one sitting!
Comment: The author of this book, Barbara Feldon, was once on the series Get Smart, as the spy "99." She has been through a divorce and even though she started out nervous and felt lonely, she was able to live alone and finally appreciate it.
I was attracted to this book. I am always drawn to the books that emphasize how being "single" or "alone" is not a scary thing. In today's society, from friends or family, you are constantly pushed to be with another person, to get married or have kids. Even though this is everyone's right, it isn't the answer for everyone.
I was expecting a guided list of how to live alone and love it. This was not what was within the book. It was full of wisdom and life lessons. On some parts, I felt as though she were reading my mind what I was never able to verbalize.
She writes: "Living alone gives us the freedom to nourish the things we love wihtout the constraints of a partner's timetable or his or her conflicting desires." This is not to say that we can't fulfill our hobbies or our dreams with someone else there. I think the problem is that we become distracted with taking care of this other person, like having a constant guest in our home. When you live alone, there seems to be more time to get to know yourself and what you love.
This is not a "don't get involved with others in a romantic way." It's quite the contrary. Some people are deeply fulfilled by another person sharing their life, and others have too much they want to fulfill on their own. She writes. "...a love life is not a need like food and air, it's a desire. If we don't eat or breathe, we die; we don't die from unsatisfied passion. Having to set aside romance from time to time is only tormenting if we choose to view it that way."
I loved this passage. "I learned that there are ways to experience romance outside of sexual possession. I had savored for the first time what the sixteenth-century essayist Montaigne called 'passionate friendship': one that is deeply loving, unconditional, and heightened to the level of poetry. We delighted in each other's company, expressed ourselves freely, and brought out the best in each other. Not all conventional relationships call make those claims. There were so many delights that the lack of a sexual component wasn't felt as a deficit." I have experienced this very thing, but I couldn't describe it. There are more ways to connect than just with one person. We connect with people all of the time, but sometimes, we are too busy to notice, or don't put our finger on it why it felt so good to have a passing conversation with a stranger or acquaintance. You will never be lonely if you don't put yourself out there. (Spoken from a true introvert, who also tends to be shy as well.)
Does this mean that I won't couple up? No, I have a boyfriend. Does this mean that I would never get married? No, not exactly. What does this mean? The significance for me is that someone echoes my true feelings about being single. It's not evil, it's not lonely, it's just something that is easier to handle when you are comfortable and love yourself. It also gives you more time to travel around the world which I hope to do someday. If I find myself single again, I hope that I take advantage of all the things single life offered me.
Rating: 5
Summary: Intelligent, Endearing and Relevant
Comment: This is not typical of the books I generally take the time to review, but I feel warmly enough about its potent bite sized inspiration to recommend it to anyone "living alone and learning to love it." It's just as whimsically endearing as Agent 99 of Get Smart -- there is much more than meets the eye to the now exquisitely beautiful and erudite septuagenarian Barbara Feldon. Both practical (covering all the necessary bases) and intensely insightful, Feldon "interviewed many singles who have spoken in praise of living alone." "Those who grew up with closeness and affection find it easy and natural. Those who were lonely as children had to learn that, as adults, they have a world of people and options at their disposal. But they all share three basic characteristics: curiosity, enthusiasm and the wish to celebrate life by living fully. Edna St. Vincent Millay captured it beautifully when she wrote, 'oh, world, I cannot hold thee close enough!'" "Freedom is hard to love . . . but that person has found the secret to happiness." A softer and sweeter companion to the exceptional and edgy Party of One by Anneli Rufus. Warmly recommended.
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Title: The Art of Living Single by Michael Broder ISBN: 0380709333 Publisher: Avon Pub. Date: 01 May, 1990 List Price(USD): $6.99 |
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Title: BEING SINGLE IN A COUPLE'S WORLD: HOW TO BE HAPPILY SINGLE WHILE LOOKING FOR LOVE by Xavier Amador, Judith Kiersky ISBN: 0684852357 Publisher: Free Press Pub. Date: 20 April, 1999 List Price(USD): $12.00 |
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Title: Flying Solo: Single Women in Midlife by Carol M. Anderson, Susan Stewart, Sona Dimidjian ISBN: 0393313476 Publisher: W.W. Norton & Company Pub. Date: October, 1995 List Price(USD): $14.95 |
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Title: The Joy of Being Single by Allia Zobel, Roz Chast, Allia Zobel-Nolan ISBN: 1563051249 Publisher: Workman Publishing Company Pub. Date: June, 1992 List Price(USD): $6.95 |
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Title: The Improvised Woman: Single Women Reinventing Single Life by Marcelle Clements ISBN: 0393319539 Publisher: W.W. Norton & Company Pub. Date: October, 1999 List Price(USD): $14.00 |
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