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Title: Getting to "I Do" by Patricia, Dr. Allen, Sandra Harmon ISBN: 0688112986 Publisher: William Morrow Pub. Date: 01 February, 1994 Format: Hardcover Volumes: 1 List Price(USD): $22.00 |
Average Customer Rating: 4.28
Rating: 5
Summary: Thanks Dr. Allen
Comment: This book has been a tremendous help for me. The first time I read it I was surprised to find out that I was overwhelmingly female energy when it came to romantic relationships. Similarly, I had been surprised to find out that I was an extreme "feeler" (NF) on the Myers-Briggs standard personality test, which some critics of Dr. Allen's book may find more "scientific". For years I wondered why I felt unhappy in relationships and in my prestigious corporate job and tried to understand why climbing a career ladder and making money was supposed to be so important in a woman's life. The two discoveries - my female energy and my feeling personality - made me make career changes and relationship choices that ultimately made me feel so much happier. The best Dr. Allen's book has done for me is clearly show that I need to trust my feelings and intuition and do not let myself be intimidated into doing things that do not feel good to me. In result, I have had much more enjoyable relationships. Even though none has resulted in what I ultimately wish for - marriage and kids - at least I was treated well. If I had only known earlier in life (I am 35) that being "female" and "feeling" were OK! I wish somebody - preferably a male psychologist - would write a similar book for men, so that the masculine ones among them stop acting like cry-babies, Peter Pans, or "machos", if they want to earn a woman's love and respect. Thanks, Dr. Allen. My feeling intuition tells me that my masculine man is out there somewhere looking for me. All I have to do is look good, feel good, and smile when he shows up. And, man, do I like looking good and feeling good!
Rating: 5
Summary: Very Interesting!
Comment: Watch out, this is a very deeply provocative book. I wouldn't call it spiritual, but would say that it honors an enduring psychological energy exchange that is very real yet confounds most of us as we bumble along wondering why the things we are doing in our relationships aren't working. This is a very intelligent yet practical treatment of how this energy needs to be exchanged in relationships. I have being reading this book over and over for the last year to get it's principles into my mind. But the payoff has been tremendous. Its provocative content forced me to take a doubletake. I just couldn't believe what she was saying, yet something about it spoke to the part of me that always worked hard to be independent and do the right thing by being an equal in a relationship.The book encouraged me to cherish the feminine side of myself. Those of you out there with low self-esteem know how difficult this is to maintain. Read the hostile reviews and you'll see that some find it impossible to cherish themselves. Applying these principles, although they may seem simple, is not easy. The negotiation strategies, for instance, take practice -there has been an ongoing learning curve in my case. The author shows what to do in painful situations where some of us get reactive and defensive. (See her "5-step clean up" strategy.) The neatest thing is that the responses to this approach are loving and cherishing. The cherishing is what I have always wanted and now know how to get. It's what makes the relationship a romantic love affair instead of a business deal type partnership. And it brings out the best in my boyfriend, a maturity, that he never knew he had. Of course there are times when we switch roles and he shares his feelings and I share my thoughts. In my opinion, any person who says the author does not advocate this role reversal at times just did not sincerely look for the balanced approach that is here in this book, and that's not a fair treatment of her philosophy. If you want to grow up in a relationship, this book will help point the way. In writing this, I am "casting my bread upon the waters," in hopes that it will give someone else a chance read it and to experience what the book has given me.
Rating: 5
Summary: A Kinder, Gentler book
Comment: This book was the best relationship book I've ever read! One thing I loved about it is that it doesn't take the same "he's no good for you anyway" stance that most of your friends would give you. This book teaches you to look at your relationship more objectively, and then make informed decisions about your next step. I felt empowered after reading it! It gives you the tools to better understand your mate and to help you take your relationship in the direction that suits you! I've recommended it to many friends (don't all of us go through this at some point?) and every single one has come back to me to thank me. A must read for anyone who's in a relationship that has, seemingly, halted. It worked for me! I was married 9 months ago to the man of my dreams :)
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Title: What Men Really Want by Herb Goldberg ISBN: 0451169727 Publisher: New American Library Pub. Date: 1991 List Price(USD): $6.99 |
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Title: Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl-A Woman's Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship by Sherry Argov ISBN: 1580627560 Publisher: Adams Media Corporation Pub. Date: 2002 List Price(USD): $14.95 |
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Title: What Men Won't Tell You but Women Need to Know by Bob Berkowitz, Roger Gittines ISBN: 0380713640 Publisher: Avon Pub. Date: 1991 List Price(USD): $5.99 |
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Title: How to Make a Man Fall in Love With You by Tracy Cabot ISBN: 0440145368 Publisher: Dell Books Pub. Date: 1987 List Price(USD): $6.99 |
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Title: Stop Getting Dumped! All You Need to Know to Make Men Fall Madly in Love with You and Marry "The One" in 3 Years or Less by Lisa Daily ISBN: 0452283833 Publisher: Plume Pub. Date: 07 May, 2002 List Price(USD): $11.00 |
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