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Title: The Birth of Pleasure by Carol Gilligan ISBN: 0-679-75943-3 Publisher: Vintage Pub. Date: 12 August, 2003 Format: Paperback Volumes: 1 List Price(USD): $13.00 |
Average Customer Rating: 4.14 (7 reviews)
Rating: 5
Summary: A Deconstruction of the Patriarchy & Map to Find Way Out
Comment: Carol Gilligan has transformed our thinking of how adolescents experience their growing up in the modern world. With her new beautifully written and truly brilliant book, she shows the reasons why men start to think about leaving when they truly fall in love, and why it is so hard for everyone to know truly, viscerally, deeply what they know (but what might be painful for self or others to acknowledge fully). Ranging from empirical data, ancient myths, literature, her own life experiences growing up (movingly told with unflinching honesty), and her observations as a therapist, Gilligan eloquently sketches the reasons why the Western tradition has embraced the genre of tragedy to tell stories of love.
This is a complex, challenging, and courageous book. It stands on par with the most daring work of such thinkers as Freud or Darwin, using the author's unusual intelligence to discern unacknowledged truths behind everyday realities.
I could not put it down, and it resonates deeply in the most unexpected contexts. Buy this book; it is not only the birth of pleasure but also a pleasure to think with Gilligan.
Rating: 5
Summary: Re-learn What You Once Knew
Comment: This is an important book to read for those searching out a deeper understanding of themselves and the role society has played in the development of self-denial.
According to the author, there comes a stage in a child's development (for boys when they are 5 and girls when they are 13 - later for girls cause the patriarchy has no need for women untill they are of birthing age) when they are forced to forget what they know in order to be in relationships. The patriarchy sets up a hierarchy that separates the "father" from children and women - creating a split in relationships but also in ourselves (we lose touch with the internal "father," or at least those characteristics in ourselves that have been deemed "masculine"). When you are a child you do not question your perception of the world or your emotional reactions to it. You instinctively know how to interpret and react to how other people are feeling. But once you reach a certain age, you have to unlearn these things, deny your knowledge in order to fit into the mold the patriarchy has devised as acceptable. In order to be in relationships (within the patriarchy) you have to shut away part of yourself, which raises the question, if you aren't allowed to be yourself within the patriarchy, how real are the relationships you are sacrificing yourself for? And that is the problem - deep down we are all yearning for real connections which we can't have, because none of us are truly being ourselves. And those parts of ourselves we had to deny because the patriarchy deemed them "wrong" (very often our sexuality and creativity) get repressed - we start to see those parts of ourselves as dirty and bad and hate them - hate ourselves. The book says that we need to reclaim these lost gems from our childhood in order to truly know ourselves - and some of what has been repressed might be hard to look at, might be unappealing, but the good stuff far outweighs the bad. The goal should be wholeness (good and bad) not perfection.
*For those that are tired of reading books that rail against the big bad "patriarchy," you will find this book's approach refreshing, as it does not focus on judging men or society, but rather looking at it from a different point of view.
Rating: 1
Summary: Sentimental and Romantic
Comment: Reading this book did not, alas, lead to the birth of pleasure. It was a painful experience. The highest value for Gilligan is the pursuit of the 'authentic self,' especially the female one, in the face of nasty 'patriarchy.' Twenty-five years ago, 'patriarchy' really meant something; it was a call to arms against those social, political, and economic structures entirely in the hands of men. But the word is at outmoded as is the sentimental and romantic stuff purveyed here. There is more to life, more to gender, more to maturity, and certainly more to human values than this pursuit of pleasure.
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Title: In a Different Voice: Psychological Theory and Women's Development by Carol Gilligan ISBN: 0674445449 Publisher: Harvard Univ Pr Pub. Date: September, 1993 List Price(USD): $12.95 |
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Title: Women, Girls, and Psychotherapy: Reframing Resistance by Carol Gilligan, Annie G. Rogers, Deborah L. Tolman ISBN: 1560230126 Publisher: Harrington Park Pr Pub. Date: October, 1991 List Price(USD): $19.95 |
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Title: How Can I Get Through to You? Closing the Intimacy Gap Between Men and Women by Terrence Real ISBN: 0684868784 Publisher: Scribner Pub. Date: 24 December, 2002 List Price(USD): $14.00 |
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Title: Mapping the Moral Domain: A Contribution of Women's Thinking to Psychological Theory and Education by Carol Gilligan, Janie Victoria Ward, Jill McLean Taylor, Betty Bardige ISBN: 0674548310 Publisher: Harvard Univ Pr Pub. Date: March, 1990 List Price(USD): $15.95 |
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Title: Meeting at the Crossroads by Carol Gilligan, Lyn Mikel Brown ISBN: 0345382951 Publisher: Ballantine Books Pub. Date: 10 August, 1993 List Price(USD): $14.00 |
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