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Title: Fascinating Womanhood by Helen Andelin ISBN: 0-553-29220-X Publisher: Bantam Pub. Date: 01 January, 1992 Format: Mass Market Paperback Volumes: 1 List Price(USD): $7.99 |
Average Customer Rating: 3.28 (96 reviews)
Rating: 4
Summary: When trying to change your husband doesn't work. . .
Comment: I didn't mean to, but I found my self in love and married to a man that I couldn't live without and seemed to not be able to live with either. He was stubborn and refused to willingly change himself for the better. Finally, after our last really huge explosive argument when all seemed futile, (but in the end we were miserable without each other), I gave up on waiting for him to change and decided to work on myself for once. Reading this book helped me change my attitude about how I thought of and treated my husband. At first glance I thought, oh great, more work for me! But, the more I read and thought about what was written and how it applied to our relationship, I realised that alot of what the author was saying is that you need to treat your husband with love and respect and like he is the most important person in your life (much like how I treated him the first year we dated). This book also helped me take pride in the role I CHOSE to take in my family's life as a full-time mother.
The book has its faults. A couple of the testimonials are a little on the extreme side and seem to justify spousal abuse, but if you keep on reading, the author makes it very clear that the wife is not a doormat, abuse is not acceptable, and the woman needs to remove herself and the children from the house. The other fault of the book is that it can appear to be a book about manipulating your husband. It is a very practical book, filled with many specific examples of what to say or do. It is not deep or intellectual. If you are looking for the Biblical, intellectual argument on the role of a wife, I found The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace very helpful and a good companion to this book.
Rating: 4
Summary: Helpful
Comment: This book could be dry and repetitive. In addition, it had fewer references to scripture than I would have liked. However, I have found it to be a useful tool. Most of the book centers on communication skills. To say that this book asks you to be phony isn't fair. What book on marriage doesn't ask you to use stock phrases such as "I hear you saying..." and "it makes me feel..."? This book suggests putting your problems and concerns, and even encouragement, in words that do not subtly or not-so-subtly insult your husband. And while the book emphasizes that good grooming and housekeeping make for a happy home, it gives equal weight to being of good character and being trustworthy. I recommend this book for those women who have been disappointed by other marriage books and whose husbands refuse to enter the counseling racket.
Rating: 4
Summary: A book that rewards a sophisticated reading
Comment: This book is fascinating (pun intended). Reviews of it -- including those on this web page -- are mixed and often passionate for good reason. The ideas are as explosive today as they were when the book was first published.
Like any text, your reaction to this book will depend upon how you read it. It can be a joyful revelation, or a goad that drives you to fury, or a hilarious view into an antiquated perspective on gender relationships. Does this book suggest that a wife should put a bow in her hair and lisp praises for her husband's awesome strength and capability? Yes. Does it claim that doing so will improve her marriage? Yes. Can such techniques work in the long run? The jury still seems to be out on that.
Manipulation in any relationship is deadly. But sincerely doing things that encourage others to be the best they can be is good from both a secular and a Christian perspective. It builds good mental health. Assuming that our gender makes us prefer certain kinds of behavior both in ourselves and in our mates, and that our ability to meet our own ideals of our gender affects our general happiness and self-esteem, it seems that giving and receiving gender-oriented encouragement is not a bad idea.
I have never found a book that so clearly explained how I can cause my husband to feel good about himself as a man. I appreciate that. I look at this book not as a prescription for living -- which is how the author intended it, without question --- but as a sort of cook-book, full of good things to try. Or perhaps as a tool-kit to draw from to smooth over some rough times and make the good times more fun. Taken that way, I think _Fascinating Womanhood_ is a work of genius. It is jam-packed with things to try. At the very least you will learn a great deal about yourself and about your husband as you experiment with behavior and responses.
If a long, interesting and ever-growing marriage is your goal, then read this book. It is bound to give you ideas to work with for many years to come.
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Title: Man of Steel and Velvet: A Guide to Masculine Development by Aubrey P. Andelin ISBN: 0911094237 Publisher: Pacific Pr Pub. Date: January, 1994 List Price(USD): $5.99 |
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Title: The Fascinating Girl by Helen Andelin ISBN: 1403373515 Publisher: 1stBooks Library Pub. Date: February, 2003 List Price(USD): $19.95 |
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Title: All About Raising Children by Helen Andelin ISBN: 0911094075 Publisher: Pacific Pr Pub. Date: August, 1982 List Price(USD): $18.00 |
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Title: What Makes a Man Feel Loved by Bob Barnes ISBN: 1565078241 Publisher: Harvest House Publishers, Inc. Pub. Date: February, 1998 List Price(USD): $9.99 |
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Title: The Surrendered Wife : A Practical Guide to Finding Intimacy, Passion, and Peace with Your Man by Laura Doyle ISBN: 0743204441 Publisher: Fireside Pub. Date: 08 January, 2001 List Price(USD): $14.00 |
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