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Title: When I Say No, I Feel Guilty by Manuel J. Smith ISBN: 0-553-26390-0 Publisher: Bantam Pub. Date: 01 January, 1985 Format: Mass Market Paperback Volumes: 1 List Price(USD): $7.99 |
Average Customer Rating: 4.82 (28 reviews)
Rating: 5
Summary: The Most Useful Book That I Have Ever Read
Comment: Many years have passed since I first bought and read Dr. Smith's revolutionary book. I have never found any techniques so universally applicable for dealing with people who don't care about fairness or my feelings. I have successfully used the broken record and fogging techniques to deal with manipulative relatives who want to tell me what to do "to help me" and self-disclosure and the broken record to convince store employees to accept back defective merchandise even if their store policy "doesn't allow" them to do this! This book taught me how to stand up for myself and stop trying to solve everyone else's problems (the store's agreement with a manufacturer or distributor)and focus on getting what I have paid for. I am smiling as I write this because I have just returned from a trip to a major toy retailer whose store manager refused to take back a defective stroller "because you don't have the box." Needless to say, after using Dr. Smith's methods, the manager gave me full credit on my credit card within fifteen minutes. I never needed to become unpleasant or raise my voice. Dr. Smith should be cannonized by the "doormats" of the world. You will be doing yourself a favor if you buy this book!
Rating: 5
Summary: Skills That You Can Use Immediately
Comment: While based on solid theory, this book teaches practical skills that you can use immediately. You'll find yourself comfortably using some techniques well before you even finish the book.
This book impressed me when I first read it 25 years ago. And it has stood the test of time: I felt amazed at how much more useful the techniques seemed when I reread it recently.
A couple of points deserve emphasis:
1. In addition to teaching you how to say "no" without feeling guilty, the author masterfully teaches you simple, powerful techniques for keeping your cool while you're under attack.
2. This book plays an important role in the set of cognitive, emotive, and behavioral skills taught by psychologists such as Albert Ellis and David Burns. While books such as "A New Guide to Rational Living" (Ellis) and "The Feeling Good Handbook" (Burns) contain tools that address a far wider range of problems, Smith's methods work far more rapidly, easily, and consistently for the challenges that this book addresses.
I strongly recommend this book for anyone wanting to quickly and easily learn to (i) say "no" without feeling guilty and/or (ii) react coolly to attacks by others.
Rating: 5
Summary: A Very Practical Guidebook
Comment: This book goes far beyond theoretical principles on how to be more assertive. It gives numerous sample dialogues which reflect everyday situations. One practical method is the use of fogging. You implicitly agree with the critic in order to simultaneously deflect the criticism without resorting to hostility. In this book, you learn how to be assertive in relatively impersonal situations (such as dealing with a persistent salesman) as well as closer ones (such as negotiating with an employer, or conversing with a dissatisfied spouse). A teacher can learn, using this book, how to cope with students who try to manipulate her into changing their grades on an "unfair" test.
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Title: Your Perfect Right: Assertiveness and Equality in Your Life and Relationships (Eighth Edition) by Robert E. Alberti, Michael L. Emmons ISBN: 1886230285 Publisher: Impact Publishers, Inc. Pub. Date: 20 May, 2001 List Price(USD): $15.95 |
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Title: Don't Say Yes When You Want to Say No : Making Life Right When It Feels All Wrong by JEAN BAER, HERBERT PHD FENSTERHEIM ISBN: 0440154138 Publisher: Dell Pub. Date: 15 October, 1975 List Price(USD): $7.50 |
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Title: The Disease To Please by Harriet Braiker ISBN: 0071385649 Publisher: McGraw-Hill/Contemporary Books Pub. Date: 13 February, 2002 List Price(USD): $14.95 |
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Title: When I Say No I Feel Guilty, Vol. II, for Managers and Executives by Manuel J. Smith ISBN: 0970299605 Publisher: A Train Press Pub. Date: 20 May, 2000 List Price(USD): $14.95 |
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Title: The Assertiveness Workbook: How to Express Your Ideas and Stand Up for Yourself at Work and in Relationships by Randy J. Paterson Ph.D. ISBN: 1572242094 Publisher: New Harbinger Pubns Pub. Date: 30 December, 2000 List Price(USD): $15.95 |
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