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Title: The Good Marriage : How & Why Love Lasts by Judith S. Wallerstein, Sandra Blakeslee ISBN: 0-446-67248-3 Publisher: Warner Books Pub. Date: 01 October, 1996 Format: Paperback Volumes: 1 List Price(USD): $14.95 |
Average Customer Rating: 4.58 (19 reviews)
Rating: 4
Summary: A readable study of what makes a marriage "good".
Comment: The authors of "The Good Marriage" have broken new ground.
Instead of offering criteria on how to identify a bad
marriage, Judith S. Wallerstein and Sandra Blakeslee have
discovered through their pilot study the secrets of a good
marriage.
In this very well written book, the authors conclude there
are four types of marriages and nine tasks that must be
completed in order to have a good marriage. The reader is
allowed inside the couple's marriages as the authors
interview Matt and Sara, Helen and Keith, Fred and Marie
and others.
I began reading this book with much skeptiscm. I was
convinced these couples were deluding themselves - no
marriage can be truly good for any extended period of time.
But I was wrong, although each couple admitted bad times
in their marriages there remained enough romance to carry
them through.
I recommend this book to any adult who really wants to know
how a successful marriage can be a dream-come-true.
Rating: 3
Summary: recommended with reservations
Comment: I approached this book with some skepticism, but I found it to be an interesting and relatively quick read. Wallerstein seems to have carefully done her research, asking insightful questions and inspiring interesting discussions not only with those she happens to be interviewing but also between the spouses as well. Her categories for the marriages (romantic, rescue, companionate and traditional) were interesting, and she made it clear that many marriages' characteristics draw from the different areas. However, although romantic and rescue marriages seemed to apply to couples of all ages, companionate and traditional marriage categorizations were strongly dependent upon the age of the spouses. Not surprisingly, companionate marriages were nearly universally between people in their 30s, and traditional marriages between those older. Clearly, the expectations of a person when entering a marriage will help determine what kind of marriage it will be, and I don't think t! his was adequately addressed in the book. It would have been interesting to read an in-depth discussion on whether the definition of "good" had changed over time.
Rating: 5
Summary: Wonderful book
Comment: What caught my eye about this ingrossing and captivating book began on page 20 where the author is describing a variety of couples she has interviewed for her study and that while each of them is unique and in some place 180 opposite is that "I realized then that each of these marriages was a different world, a sovereign country unto itself. Rather than a single archetype of happy marriage, I found many different kinds. Like a richly detailed tapestry, each relationship was woven from strands of love, friendship, sexual fulfillment, nurture, protection, emotional security, economic responsibility, and co-parenting. But the patterns in the marital weave varied, and gradually I began to see several distinctive types. I learned that at the heart of any good marriage is a core relationship created out of the conscious and unconcisous fit of the partners needs and wishes. This core reflects what each partner wants and expects from the other -- expectations influenced by relationships that begin in infancy, childhood, and adolescence but are ultimately shaped within marriage", or what the author and I agree are core loves, likes and can live with.
And I simply loved reading about all the different couples, varied challenges and successes and failures that didn't make the marriages fall a part. Simply a wonderful book.
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Title: The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce : The 25 Year Landmark Study by Judith S. Wallerstein, Julia Lewis, Sandra Blakeslee ISBN: 0786886161 Publisher: Hyperion Pub. Date: 19 September, 2001 List Price(USD): $14.95 |
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Title: Second Chances: Men, Women, and Children a Decade After Divorce by Judith S. Wallerstein, Sandra Blakeslee ISBN: 0395735335 Publisher: Mariner Books Pub. Date: 01 August, 1996 List Price(USD): $14.00 |
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Title: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John M. Gottman, Nan Silver ISBN: 0609805797 Publisher: Three Rivers Press (CA) Pub. Date: 16 May, 2000 List Price(USD): $13.95 |
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Title: What About the Kids? Raising Your Children Before, During, and After Divorce by Judith S. Wallerstein, Sandra Blakeslee ISBN: 0786868651 Publisher: Hyperion Pub. Date: 12 March, 2003 List Price(USD): $23.95 |
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Title: Surviving the Breakup: How Children and Parents Cope With Divorce by Judith S. Wallerstein, Joan Berlin Kelly ISBN: 0465083455 Publisher: Basic Books Pub. Date: 01 September, 1996 List Price(USD): $17.00 |
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