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It's My Life Now : Starting Over After an Abusive Relationship or Domestic Violence

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Title: It's My Life Now : Starting Over After an Abusive Relationship or Domestic Violence
by Meg Kennedy Dugan, Roger Hock, Roger R. Hock
ISBN: 0-415-92358-1
Publisher: Routledge
Pub. Date: April, 2000
Format: Paperback
Volumes: 1
List Price(USD): $15.95
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Average Customer Rating: 5 (7 reviews)

Customer Reviews

Rating: 5
Summary: My path to healing started with this book
Comment: After ending an abusive relationship that lasted 6 years, I was at a loss. I questioned every feeling, every thought I had. I had no one to turn to, because his controlling and abusive behavior had surved its purpose: I was completely isolated. I started looking at self-help books, but many of them seemed inacessable or discussed how to recognize signs of abuse, not how to pick up the pieces after it was over. This book became my bible. Each word rang true, and I began to realize I was not crazy, nor was I alone. The exercises allowed me to take stock of my own life, assess where I was currently, where I had been, and where I'd like to go.

The path to healing is neverending and always full of surprises and dissapointments, but this book helped me see that I had done the hard part: I had survived. Everything I do from now on is about me, is about healing and being safe. I pick this book up to remind me how far I've come, and to help me with the parts I still struggle with. A fantastic resource.

Rating: 5
Summary: It Is Helpful, Plain and Simple
Comment: This book is the kind of instructional manual that every woman escaping from an abuser needs to read. Every thought, fear, or impulse an abused woman may have is discussed in this very calm, very helpful book.

The authors don't shy away from the darker stuff, and they write in a very straightforward, no-nonsense fashion. Yet the book leaves the reader with an undeniable sense of hope and excitement, as this book makes the reader realize that a new, better life is possible.

Rating: 5
Summary: A gem--very comprehensive
Comment: This book has been very helpful to me in recovering from an abusive marriage. In fact, if you only have the money for one "recovery from abuse" book, this one is the one to get. It covers every type of abuse, even spiritual abuse, which was very relevant to my experiences in a bizarre cultic marriage in which I was beaten over the head with the Bible and told to "submit" all the time. The tone that the book is written in is wonderful. It is neither "oh, you poor pathetic baby" or "get over it, toots" but strikes exactly the right tone--empowering and empathetic but not patronizing or overbearing.

The book helps you not only analyze what happened to you and why, but gets you into the healing process. This book helped me quit beating myself up for ending up with and staying with an abuser (and having SIX children with him into the bargain), for still having feelings for my abusive husband, and for being tempted to go back. Some of the exercises at the end of the chapters were kind of silly, and I skipped them, but some were excellent. The exercise that helped me the most was the one that helped me to look back and remember why I fell in love with that chump to begin with. It WASN'T because I am brainless.

The absolute best thing about this book, in my opinion, is the final chapter. Prior to reading it, I had no idea how in the world I managed to marry an abusive control freak and was scared to death of getting hooked by another one. This chapter really helped me feel capable of choosing another partner who is not abusive. The author tells you exactly what danger signs to look for. I missed every one of them the first time, but I won't miss them again!

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