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Title: Mother of My Mother : The Intimate Bond Between Generations by Hope Edelman ISBN: 0-385-31799-9 Publisher: Delta Pub. Date: 11 April, 2000 Format: Paperback Volumes: 1 List Price(USD): $12.95 |
Average Customer Rating: 4 (5 reviews)
Rating: 3
Summary: A Little Too Much Of A Good Thing, A Book Review of Mother o
Comment: A Little Too Much Of A Good Thing, A Book Review of Mother of My Mother, the Intricate Bond Between Generations by Hope Edelman, Publisher, The Dial Press, Random House, Inc. 1999, pages 268.
The personal narrative launches the book, as Ms. Edelman recounts her relationships with her grandmother and her mother. Though the topic sounded intriguing, I opened this pop psychology book as a skeptic. I was immediately impressed with the author's ability to write. Her tight, well- honed and descriptive use of language lent ease and interest to me, as a reader.
Throughout the book, Ms. Edelman uses her "story" as an anchor. This device breaks up the monotony of the soft clinical research and conversely the facts reduce any tedium from the repetitive return to the author's recounting of her experience and that of her "examples". In doing it acts as a catalyst to trigger the memory of one's childhood, one's grandmother(s) and mother(s).
Once meandering with the author refreshed my memory, I was given insight, tools for self-awareness and self-help by the author. These were offered in an effort to assist the reader in sense of one's past, present and future; great clarity gained through understanding of core familial relationships.
She pinpointed four specific types of grandmother/matriarchs: Benevolent Manipulator "whose love for her family is matched only by her desire for control"; Gentle Giant "who possesses a quiet, behind-the-scenes power, the kind of elder whose very presence elicits awe and respect"; Autocrat, "who rules her extended family like a despot.... which members acting out of fear of her anger or loss of her affection": Kinkeeper "the hub of the family wheel, acting as its social, cultural, or religious center and offering a sense of cohesion to the extended clan". All of these examples included specific family histories to illustrate this character type and her impact upon her granddaughter.
The concept of "health" is outlined as "a system characterized mainly by co-operation, honesty, respect, and appropriate boundaries. Whether or not a triangle includes these elements depends in large part on the type of relationship the grandmother and mother share. When their relationship is balanced-meaning it's neither overly enmeshed nor emotionally disengaged and remains relatively free of competition, conflict, and resentment-the triangle is stable enough to absorb adversity in other bonds."
Unfortunately, in spite of the interesting topic, and Ms. Edelman's skill as a writer and raconteur, the numerous exemplary stories and remembrances after remembrance finally became too much; the excess bogged Mother of My Mother, the Intricate Bond Between Generations down. By the end, everything melded together. Though the book had many interesting points, and I was glad to have gained acquaintance with this author, I was also happy to part company with Hope Edelman and legions of exemplary characters.
Rating: 5
Summary: A must read for every daughter
Comment: I could not put this book down! I am the eldest daughter of an only daughter and a maternal granddaughter to a grandma who helped my mother raise me from the day I was born until I was 11 1/2. This book offered me a great deal of insight into our triangle. Now that my mother is a grandmother herself, I have recommended it to her so she can take an objective look at her part in our triangle and those with her grandchildren. This book is very informative and the writing is super-engaging. I think any daughter will benefit from reading this book, especially if she's planning to have children.
Rating: 3
Summary: As a mother of 4 sons (& 1 daughter), I disagree. . .
Comment: Hope is a good writer--she's observant; reflective. I loved her book "Motherless Daughters" and she effectively uses her own experience to make her point. However. . . She lost me on this book because in one sentence (one sentence, mind you! ) she dismisses the relationship between a paternal grandmother and her granddaughter as never being as close as the maternal grandmother. That may be true in some cases--indeed, in many, and surely in her own. However, Hope's research is limited and biased. How can she effectively dismiss half of the population? Look at examples down through history of grandmothers & granddaughters (via their sons). . Their influence was great and I maintain ALL family relationships take investment and time. You get out of it what you put into it. The "mother of my mother" book a catchy idea, but the bias really bothers me. And what about adopted daughters? I have an adopted daughter, 4 sons, 1 grandson, & 1 granddaughter whom I love with all my heart (she's crazy about me, too). Each of my children and grandchildren are unique and each relationship is unique. This book depressed me for days until I was able to babysit my Kendsy (4 mos. old) for 5 days straight and re-fill my emotional cup. I gave this book 3 stars for the writing but the concept is weak! Sorry.
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Title: Motherless Daughters : The Legacy of Loss by Hope Edelman ISBN: 0385314388 Publisher: Delta Pub. Date: 01 April, 1995 List Price(USD): $15.95 |
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Title: Letters from Motherless Daughters : Words of Courage, Grief, and Healing by Hope Edelman ISBN: 0385315228 Publisher: Delta Pub. Date: 01 April, 1996 List Price(USD): $11.95 |
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Title: A Mother Loss Workbook : Healing Exercises for Daughters by Diane Hambrook ISBN: 0060952229 Publisher: Perennial Pub. Date: 29 October, 1997 List Price(USD): $15.95 |
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Title: Feathers Brush My Heart: True Stories of Mothers Connecting with Their Daughters After Death by Sinclair Browning ISBN: 0446690813 Publisher: Warner Books Pub. Date: 01 April, 2003 List Price(USD): $13.95 |
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Title: Remembering Mother, Finding Myself : A Journey of Love and Self-Acceptance by Patricia Commins ISBN: 1558746668 Publisher: Health Communications Pub. Date: 01 April, 1999 List Price(USD): $11.95 |
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