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In Lieu of Flowers: A Conversation for the Living

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Title: In Lieu of Flowers: A Conversation for the Living
by Nancy Cobb
ISBN: 0-375-71448-0
Publisher: Pantheon Books
Pub. Date: 02 January, 2002
Format: Paperback
Volumes: 1
List Price(USD): $10.95
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Average Customer Rating: 4.57 (14 reviews)

Customer Reviews

Rating: 5
Summary: Soothing Words for Any Saddened Soul
Comment: The final line in Nancy Cobb's "In Lieu of Flower" is "It is a benediction, really, a reassurance that we are able to emerge from sufferring--and be changed" describes the feeling I was left with after reading this book. Cobb writes about dying as a process. Her prose is luxurious, her perspective deeply spitual, beautifully hopeful while clearly realistic. She relates her personal experiences with death and how she grew through the sadness,pain and depression and moved into a place of peace, a long and difficult journey. She encourages us to see death a piece of life, to not fear the process as we watch it or as we live it. Cobb relates stories from friends and aqcuaintances that so touched me as to even raise the hairs on my neck. Sighting a butterfly will never mean the same to me again. It becomes apparent that our cultural biases on death are great. We are asked here to view death as a piece of life that involves the living as well as the dying, to view it as a time to grow and learn rather than to run and hide. When I finished this book, I felt as though my soul had been sipping on a soothing cup of chamomile tea. Then I ordered 3 copies to give as gifts.

Rating: 5
Summary: Words that go straight to the heart & soul
Comment: My Mother was not only my Mother but my very best friend. July 24, 2002 will mark the 3rd anniversary of her departure from this life. After she passed away, I saw Nancy Cobb on an AM news program, I believe it was on CBS, and she was talking about her book, In Lieu of Flowers. I purchased it and read it all in one day and found it to be just what I needed at that time. It touched my heart & soul. I have read many times since then as for me, it has helped me deal with my ongoing grieving process for my loss...my Mother who was my best friend. As well, I have loaned it to close friends who have also suffered the loss of a loved one.

Rating: 4
Summary: Compelling and Above Average
Comment: I really liked ths book overall. It has, in fact, made me realize the importance of each and every day, and I am not yet actually dealing with the death of a loved one. It made me cry many times but also laugh. The most well-written part of the book is the snippets from other sources. The author did a good job of finding appropriate and compellinig text to quote.

My only complaint is that the author alienated me by the "name-dropping" and almost constant presence of "sucessful" people. Nearly everyone is a successful writer, artisist, etc. It's tough because it's not overtly an attempt to impress but rather perhaps just a part of the author's life honestly. I just wish that, for example, when the architect son finally gains recogntion from his dying father(yet another successful artist), Cobb had left out the part that the home had appeared in a national magazine. You know? Just kind of alienates you.

Aside from that ever present irritation, it was a good book that was quite thoughtful.

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