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Title: Playful Parenting by Lawrence J. Cohen ISBN: 0-345-44286-5 Publisher: Ballantine Books Pub. Date: 30 April, 2002 Format: Paperback Volumes: 1 List Price(USD): $14.00 |
Average Customer Rating: 5 (12 reviews)
Rating: 5
Summary: A refreshing change from the usual parenting books
Comment: This is a great book! It provides a refreshingly new look at how to connect with your children and have fun while you're doing it.
After reading numerous parenting books, I can recite the usual themes - set realistic limits, provide praise when merited, focus criticism on behavior and keep it brief, be honest, offer choices, blah, blah, blah. They're all good points, but being a responsible parent should not be all there is. Most parenting books ignore the importance of having fun with your children. It's something we're all supposed to just HAVE in our relationships with our children, and then we're disappointed when it's not there as often as we would like.
PLAYFUL PARENTING transcends these usual parenting shibboleths and supplies lessons on how to accomplish something we all yearn for - connection and fun! This book provides simple, easy to use techniques for connecting with your children and having fun while you do it. Like Dr. Doolittle with animals, Dr. Cohen understands the different language that children speak. That language is play. He explains that we need to learn to speak that language if we're going to connect with our children and be truly effective. As adults, we too often lapse into lectures and explanations (sound familiar?) when a playful approach will make us a more effective teacher. Typical of strategies provided in the book is one I now use with my children. Whenever they use some provocative word like "poopyhead" (or something much worse), I respond by saying in a conspiratorial tone "Well, you can say that if you want, but don't ever, EVER, say zoogililoo". Of course, they immediately say it, we all laugh, they get over the need to provoke, and we've connected in a knowing way.
PLAYFUL PARENTING also recognizes that children are often powerless in their relationships with parents and it provides excellent strategies for giving children more control. One strategy described in the book is called "Playtime", which is one on one time a parent sets aside with a child, in which the child gets to make all the decisions about what to do and the parent can not say "no" (basic safety considerations still apply, of course). I tried Playtime with my five year old son one Sunday afternoon and had a wonderful bonding experience with him - doing things such as swimming on a cold day (though I would have rather stayed warm and dry) and letting him hold the train ticket (though I was afraid he'd lose it). For Dr. Cohen understands parents, too, and knows that we all too often say "no" for the wrong reasons - we're tired, bored, or lacking energy. The strategies in this book, like Playtime, will challenge you to stretch yourself as a parent - but with bigtime payback! My son now asks for Playtime every weekend.
I was fortunate to be able to read a prepublication manuscript of PLAYFUL PARENTING last summer. I have employed many of its strategies to great effect with my two boys, ages 5 and 3. I have expanded my repertoire of skills for handling difficult situations, and have a more proactive approach to bonding with my children in ways that we all enjoy. I highly recommend this book to any and all parents. It would make a great gift, especially for those just getting started with the parenting challenge.
Rating: 5
Summary: Revolutionizing Parenthood
Comment: Lawrence Cohen is revolutionizing parenthood. I have a 3 year old son and a 10 month old daughter. My son is going through a tough stage right now therefore, we are all going through a tough stage! PLAYFUL PARENTING has changed my way of thinking when it comes to dealing with behaviour problems. Two weeks ago I would see my son throwing toys or pushing his sister over and I'd have to count to ten to cool off and then I'd go into a well hashed routine of "Why? That's mean. Would you like it...? etc." Now I am able to get behind the behaviour and see a child who needs love and reassurance, or "his cup filled" as Dr, Cohen outs it. I have read many parenting books and will continue to do so but if I had to chose only one book as the most important and helpful book a parent can read, this would be it.
Here is an example of how my thinking and actions have changed since reading this book. For about two months my son was in timeout so often that as soon as he saw me giving him that look of annoyance he'd start off for the bottom step of out staircase, the" "timeout" step. He would always get the talk about being mean and because of the way I was phrasing my "lectures" he began to answer my question of "Why?" with "Because I like being mean." This really disturbed me. After reading just a few pages of PLAYFUL PARENTING I began to use new language and started suggesting reasons why he might be acting out aggressively. He embraced this new approach. I began asking things like "Are you feeling angry and a little left out because I was holding your sister?" His response was so different than the beligerent "I like being mean." He began crying, wanted to be held and would start talking about feeling sad and how he didn't want me to hold baby sister. I can say without hesitation that our lives have changed because of this book. Thank you Dr. Cohen!
Rating: 5
Summary: This is a great book and a wonderful new outlook!
Comment: I do, however, *highly* disagree with Amazon.com matching it with 1-2-3 Magic as something to buy at the same time. I've read both books and they are extremely different in their views on parenting and discipline! I cannot imagine that Mr Cohen would appreciate the pairing, either.--Editing this to add that I am glad to see that Amazon.com is no longer pairing it with 1-2-3 Magic!
Playful Parenting is an awesome book and I encourage every parent to read it and apply it. Your relationship with your child/ren will never be the same.
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Title: How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk : 20th Anniversary Edition by Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish ISBN: 0380811960 Publisher: Avon Pub. Date: 05 October, 1999 List Price(USD): $13.00 |
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Title: Playful Parenting: Turning the Dilemma of Discipline into Fun and Games by Denise Chapman Weston, Mark S. Weston, Chapman Denise Weston ISBN: 0874777348 Publisher: J. P. Tarcher Pub. Date: September, 1993 List Price(USD): $15.95 |
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Title: Kids, Parents, and Power Struggles : Winning for a Lifetime by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka ISBN: 0060930438 Publisher: Quill Pub. Date: 19 February, 2001 List Price(USD): $13.00 |
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Title: 1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12 by Thomas W. Phelan Ph.D. ISBN: 0963386190 Publisher: Child Management Pub. Date: March, 1996 List Price(USD): $14.95 |
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Title: Growing Up: Attachment Parenting from Kindergarten to College by Isabelle Fox ISBN: 0971214921 Publisher: Sun Publishers Pub. Date: 22 September, 2003 List Price(USD): $17.95 |
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