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Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys (Ballantine Reader's Circle)

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Title: Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys (Ballantine Reader's Circle)
by Daniel J. Kindlon, Michael Thompson, Dan Kindlon, Teresa Barker
ISBN: 0-345-43485-4
Publisher: Ballantine Books
Pub. Date: 04 April, 2000
Format: Paperback
Volumes: 1
List Price(USD): $15.00
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Average Customer Rating: 4.41 (68 reviews)

Customer Reviews

Rating: 5
Summary: READ THIS BOOK!
Comment: I could easily rate this book 6 stars or more and cannot say enough about all the helpful insights it has to offer. I'm the mom of an 8 year old boy who's life is about to improve because I read this book. I consider myself an okay mother, but I am always open-minded about improving my parenting skills. The information I've learned by reading "Raising Cain" is incredibly enlightening, and so valuable to me I feel like I hit the jackpot. Anyone wanting to parent their son(s) better needs to read this book. I want to buy copies of it to pass around to a number of friends of mine who are raising boys, as well as several teachers I know who would appreciate this insightful material to help them in their classrooms. I've gotten involved with my son's school as a Parent-Teacher Organization "mom" not only to touch base with my son more often but also to reach out to students who might not get as much attention as they need in over-crowded classrooms, and this book is proving to be a valuable tool filled with information to help me be more effective in understanding the boys whose lives I can hopefully influence for the better.

Rating: 5
Summary: This book will help boys become emotionally healthy men!!
Comment: There has never been a book that has given me so much insight to a little boys world...how they think and how the world around them encourages them to be and think. I look back at my 14 year old son and wish that I had this book 10 years ago which would allow me to better deal with his emotional well-being. I had read Reviving Ophelia to help deal with my 15 year daughter but it did not have the dramatic effect this book had on dealing with my son. It has even helped me understand my husband better and how some of the men in my life were not emotionally healthy which could have saved me lots of time and tears. This book might even help women recognize emotionally healthy men. The examples in this book are so very real and helped me realize that boys are really never given a chance to experience feelings but rather forced to find a solution. I have recommended this to all my friends raising sons, teaching boys or anyone that interacts with children. This is the best self-help book I have ever picked up and will probably refer back to it millions of times before my son leaves for college and on to healthy relationships. Thanks to the authors for doing a beautiful job of tugging at my heart and helping me be a better mother!

Rating: 5
Summary: An Important Book About Boys ... who become Men
Comment: As I read this book about boys, much of it became more about the boy who becomes the man that he is today. This IS an amazing book, well written, and better yet, written by the very professional people who deal with boys and their troubles as counsellors, and in their practices. Each man can read about his own childhood in any one of the case studies.

My favourites are:
The Culture of Cruelty or as another book said it, our Toxic Culture; We live in a modern culture where our heroes and role models are vague and fleeting. Our sports figures commit drug abuse, or adultery. The Media confronts us with disturbing images of war, sex, and banality. The Media drives us to consume all material goods. Against this backdrop, we must raise our sons. This is where a parents guidance throughout a boys life is necessary.

Seeking the Big Impossible; Boys are groomed early to seek the perfect car, the perfect job, the perfect family, the Big Impossible. And when they fall short, the result is often withdrawal or depression. Boys are trained to seek and accumulate the impossible dream.

Fathers and Sons, A Legacy of Distance and Desire; this chapter alone is worth it. Sons are always seeking an emotional connection with their fathers. Unfortunately, most fathers were and still are raised by fathers whom themselves are emotionally illiterate. Thus the great gulf of distance between fathers and sons.

Romancing the Stone, from heartfelt to heartless relations with girls; This chapter so clearly explains why some boys can't love, you know anyone like that? As the author suggests, it's because boys who are raised emotionally illiterate, have trouble learning to love when they become men, thus moving from a heartfelt boy to heartless relationships with women. Give your son a break, teach him to be emotional literate, so when he grows up, he can have heartfelt relationships with other people.

Read this book and you gain a better understanding about boys ... better yet, read this book and you'll gain a better understanding of the boy who became a man.

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