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Title: The Fussy Baby Book : Parenting Your High-Need Child From Birth to Age Five by Martha Sears, William Sears ISBN: 0-316-77916-4 Publisher: Little Brown & Company Pub. Date: 01 September, 1996 Format: Paperback Volumes: 1 List Price(USD): $12.95 |
Average Customer Rating: 4.09 (32 reviews)
Rating: 5
Summary: It's my son in print!
Comment: During the first few weeks of my son's life, I would have gone utterly out of my mind without this book! Before he was born, I thought fussy babies happened only to other people -- those who didn't see a midwife, have a homebirth, live simply, plan to attachment parent... you get the idea :) I have been humbled completely by his personality... and this book sooo helped me to realize that his fussiness wan't anyone's fault; he was just born wired that way. And it has been an excellent reference for us to work with his needs instead of against them, and realize that his traits, so annoying at times when he was littler (he's now four months old), will help him out as an adult. [It's funny now, watching video of us when he was a newborn; we speak as though we're in the midst of a hostage crisis, counting the days since his birth. We didn't think we'd have another, but are now already considering it in a couple of years. It started out tough, but he's now a very energetic, serious, hyper-interested baby, and we love him dearly.]
Rating: 5
Summary: My High Needs Baby is Now a Happy Six Year Old
Comment: As a first time mom I was dismayed when my baby cried all of the time and only seemed somewhat less miserable in my arms. He wanted, no needed to be touched all of the time. He nursed a lot, and slept very little. He had colic for SIX months and I think I cried along with him every day.
We went to the doctor but there was nothing physically wrong with him. I felt like it was our fault,that we were doing something wrong. Until I found this book and bought it out of sheer frustration.
Thank goodness for this book and for the Sears! Finally, someone who understood what we were going through. Finally, someone who gave solid advice and ideas for how to deal with the situation. Not to break the baby of his behaviors, but how to deal with them, diffuse them, roll with them and help him grow. I was able to get past the feelings of guilt and failure and be a better parent to the baby we had.
As time went by, he slowly grew out of the high needs behavior and now he's a happy, spirited six year old who brings us joy every day. Fortunately, our second wasn't high needs and slept through right away but he's now a very spirited toddler, so I have used this book again, as a reference.
For people who expect every word in this book to apply to them evenly, I think you'll be disappointed, that isn't what a reference book is or does. This book will help you in many ways but not everything will be applicable to every single thing, nor is it supposed to make you feel bad if you don't do every single thing they suggest.
It's a great reference for those parents who are at their wits' end in dealing with a high needs baby and I am so very glad I found it!
Rating: 3
Summary: amending my earlier 5 star review
Comment: In September I gave this book 5 stars. At that time, it WAS a big help - our son cried basically all the time, and reading this made me feel better.
HOWEVER...as time went on, things did not get much better. The colic, or whatever it was, didn't go away. "Parenting" our baby to sleep was becoming more and more difficult - an hour of rocking, only to have him wake up screaming 10 minutes later. Co-sleeping was a complete joke with this kid. But Dr. Sears puts the fear of God into you about sleep training, warning that it will ruin your baby. DON'T LISTEN TO HIM. Finally at about five months, we did Ferber because our son was waking up all night and would never nap.
And you know what? I don't have a fussy, high-need baby at all. I had a TIRED baby, tired from three months of colic where he probably only slept about 9 or 10 hours a day, instead of 15 or 16. If I had not decided to ignore Dr. Sears's sleeping "advice," I would still have a high-need baby. Our son still trusts us and is about a million times happier now that he can play and be interested in things, instead of just sitting there and crying because he's so tired.
So get what you can from this book, but I would be willing to guess that for many kids, being a fussy baby is a self-fulfilling prophecy if the parent follows Dr. Sears to the letter. Also, his advice is very breastfeeding-centered, so if you're not nursing you may get less out of it.
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