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Addicted to Unhappiness : Free yourself from the moods and behaviors that undermine relationships, work, and the life you want

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Title: Addicted to Unhappiness : Free yourself from the moods and behaviors that undermine relationships, work, and the life you want
by Martha Heineman Pieper, William J. Pieper, Martha Pieper, William Pieper
ISBN: 0-07-143369-4
Publisher: McGraw-Hill
Pub. Date: 20 March, 2004
Format: Paperback
Volumes: 1
List Price(USD): $14.95
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Average Customer Rating: 4.6 (30 reviews)

Customer Reviews

Rating: 5
Summary: RISE ABOVE YOUR RAISING - SELF SABOTAGE
Comment: I strongly recommend this book for anyone seeking to find help with mood disorders, any type of addiction, identity issues, self-esteem issues, reoccurring unresolved anger and troubling relationship issues.

Excellent compliments to this book are: The Angry Heart: Overcoming Borderline and Addictive Disorders by Joseph Santoro and Ronald Cohen; The Narcissistic Family: Diagnosis and Treatment by Stephanie Donaldson-Pressman and Robert Pressman; Emotional Blackmail: When People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation and Guilt to Manipulate You by Susan Forward and Donna Frazier; Understanding the Borderline Mother: Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable and Volatile Relationship by Christine Ann Lawson; Living with the Passive-Aggressive Man by Scott Wetzler; Children of the Self-Absorbed: A Grown-Up's Guide to Getting Over Narcissistic Parents by Nina Brown; Treating Attachment Disorders: From Theory to Therapy by Karl Heinz Brisch and Kenneth Kronenberg; Toxic Coworkers: How to Deal with Dysfunctional People on the Job by Alan Cavaiola and Neil Lavender.

And if you want to pursue the subject even further, you may be interested in reading The Narcissistic / Borderline Couple: A Psychoanalytic Perspective On Marital Treatment; Parenting with Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility by Jim Fay and Foster Cline.

Rating: 5
Summary: Read this and improve your relationships!
Comment: Until I read this book, my relationships were pretty turbulent. I did manage to pick good friends and partners, but then the bickering started. What I learned from Addicted to Unhappiness is that I was importing from my childhood anger when others don't want what I want. So when a friend wanted to see a different movie, I would feel irritated and that irritation woul color the evening. This book gave me good ways to rethink my responses when others don't make the same choices I would make - my relationships are going more smoothly and a life-long bad pattern has been broken. There islots of help in this book for every type of relationship problem -- even for people having trouble finding relationships. This is really a cut above any self-help book I have read.

Rating: 4
Summary: Good ideas, straightforward approach
Comment: If you buy this book, you probably want to change something about yourself. The key premise of this book is that people sabotage themselves (usually in several ways) because they have been taught to confuse happiness with unhappiness. Being unhappy and engaging in self-defeating behaviors becomes the norm for these people. As a result, they find it nearly impossible to change their self-defeating behavior. By confronting our self-sabotage for what it is, and perhaps understanding the reasons behind it, we can begin to change the behavior, substituting healthy behaviors and seeking out true happiness instead.

Does this book work? I believe it does. I am an ex-smoker after having read it. The book helped me to see my smoking for what it really was: a way of harming myself. It also helped me see how much more intentional the harm was - how I had lied to myself that I "enjoyed" smoking when in fact I hated it. I decided to quit (using the approach outlined in the book) and have been smoke-free for over a month now. I found that I had much greater willpower in myself than I ever had admitted.

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