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Title: Emotional Vampires: Dealing With People Who Drain You Dry by Albert J. Bernstein ISBN: 0-07-135259-7 Publisher: McGraw-Hill/Contemporary Books Pub. Date: 16 August, 2000 Format: Hardcover Volumes: 1 List Price(USD): $19.95 |
Average Customer Rating: 4.41 (17 reviews)
Rating: 5
Summary: My Most Highlighted Book
Comment: I wish I had this book years ago! The book is practical and very easy to read. Although the vampire references are numerous, the point is well taken. Special care is given to clarify that the purpose of the book is not to diagnose, judge or label people. It provides practical techniques for the layman to recognize and deal with people that can literally drain a person. Also, it can be used to recognize traits in our own selves that have the potential to drain others emotionally. In short, Thanks Dr. Berstein!
Rating: 5
Summary: Taking the Bite out of Vampires
Comment: Emotional Vampires teaches you how to protect yourself from people who emotionally and materially drain you for their own gain and at your expense. These "vampires" prey on colleagues, friends, and family. They are especially dangerous because their self-absorption prevents them from seeing that they are harming others, and even makes them think they are helping others. "Vampires" are especially gifted at finding the most vulnerable victims. With Dr. Bernstein's help, these vampires will see you as no easy prey and move on to others. You recognize Emotional Vampires by the emotional aftermath: they "take a lot out of you," they leave you feeling "drained," they "pushed your buttons," they are "high maintenance," etc. Dr. Bernstein is right on the money with "vampire bite" as a metaphorical diagnosis for the real harm these types cause, but beware: the fangs seldom show, and emotional vampires can seem as harmless and ineffectual as Aunt Bea, or as affable as Will Rogers. Each chapter is a recognizance of different "vampire" personality types. I realized I was particularly vulnerable to the "histrionics" who thrive on drama for its own sake. I used Bernstein's techniques on a certain "histrionic" vampire in my life, and now I'm thankfully out of her perpetual soap opera. I urge everybody to buy this book. It's a funny and easy read, but the subject is serious and the insights ring deeply true. Once you have read it you will have the power to protect yourself from a lot of hard times and wasted hours.
Rating: 5
Summary: humor and clarity work together
Comment: Dr. Albert Bernstein's book Emotional Vampires gives strategies for managing these personality types. Sometimes it's not practical to run away. It might mean living in a very small world if you are on the lookout to avoid these traits in people. Everyone has these traits to some degree on a continuum, from mild to extreme. The main tool is knowing yourself, esp. in regards to these behaviors. I'm re-reading it slowly.
A second benefit is trying to not inflict pain on others by MY personality.
He describes what it's like inside their minds. In extremes, the best thing he says MAY be to avoid them, especially if you're not willing to manage them in your life. They may represent either gifted and talented people or cranks, depending on the person or situation. He describes the usual reactions people use to deal with them, and why that doesn't work.
He offers a BALANCED viewpoint that seems to carry credibility.
Bernstein had definite strategies for managing my paranoid, jealous ex-girlfriend that would have worked, had I known and not tried to address her fears for her.
I see that I have always been attracted to extreme (and immature) personalities in friendships, and am one myself, though I think I have my own stuff completely repaired and managed by now. (yeah, right)
This book addresses some confusion about people that has baffled me forever. I laughed out loud several times.
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Title: In Sheep's Clothing: Understanding and Dealing With Manipulative People by George K., Jr. Simon ISBN: 096516960X Publisher: A.J. Christopher Pub. Date: December, 1996 List Price(USD): $15.95 |
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Title: Toxic People : 10 Ways Of Dealing With People Who Make Your Life Miserable by Lillian Glass ISBN: 0312152329 Publisher: St. Martin's Press Pub. Date: 15 February, 1997 List Price(USD): $14.95 |
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Title: Nasty People by Jay Carter ISBN: 0071410228 Publisher: McGraw-Hill/Contemporary Books Pub. Date: 05 May, 2003 List Price(USD): $8.95 |
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Title: Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You by Susan Forward, Donna Frazier ISBN: 0060928972 Publisher: Quill Pub. Date: 01 April, 1998 List Price(USD): $13.00 |
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Title: Dinosaur Brains : Dealing with All THOSE Impossible People at Work by Albert J. Bernstein ISBN: 0345410211 Publisher: Ballantine Books Pub. Date: 29 September, 1996 List Price(USD): $19.00 |
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