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Title: Dealing With People You Can't Stand by Rick Brinkman, Rick Kirschner ISBN: 0-07-007838-6 Publisher: McGraw-Hill/Contemporary Books Pub. Date: 01 August, 1994 Format: Paperback Volumes: 1 List Price(USD): $12.95 |
Average Customer Rating: 4.7 (20 reviews)
Rating: 5
Summary: Liberate Yourself from Jerks.
Comment: This book has an excellent premise: the only way to deal with difficult people is to change the way you respond to them. Think about it. Do any of us ever do what we want to do all the time? Of course not. How many New Year's resolutions have we broken? Well, if we can't control our own behavior for our own good, how can we control someone else's especially when that person's obnoxious ways satisfies some perverse need? Some books on interpersonal conflict recommend that the reader resort to planning biting comebacks or simply ignoring the offending party. Rick and Rick offer more positive and healthier solutions (such as being more empathetic without being a punching bag) that if implemented will help the reader stay sane when under attack and eventually learn to stay above the fray.
Rating: 2
Summary: Sorry, Can't Stand You
Comment: The book is simply written, with very few if any difficult theories or ideas put forth. The theories presented should easily be understood by most any reader, as it mostly rehashes lessons taught to most people by their parents. That is pay attention to people and deal with them calmly and rationally. Brinkman and Kirschner do tend to fall into a lot of pop psychology, which I guess fits this type of book, but tended to annoy this reader.
From the very beginning the doctors failed to engage me, they did not give me a reason to care to use these strategies on very many people. Given their backgrounds in holistic healing and naturopathic medicine, it would seem logical that they would have informed us of the health benefits enjoyed by eliminating stressful people from our lives. Instead this reader found it difficult to relate to any of the proposed situations in anything more than a professional setting. Because of that, this book would make an excellent blueprint on how to manipulate people on your way up the ladder of success.
Each chapter was well organized, most beginning with a story that depicted that particular chapters theme. The authors then laid out a step-by-step guide to dealing with this type of difficult individual. It seems a bit naïve to think that one strategy will work for each of the personality types. Some may find it difficult to proceed with the given advice, and therefore it would have been nice to see some alternative strategies given. This would give the reader greater flexibility when dealing with his or her particular difficult person. Not only were the suggestions limited, often times they seemed quite simplistic, almost as though Brinkman and Kirschner believe that people are machines and simply by pushing the right buttons or saying the magic pop psychology phrase we can control anyone. Seldom does it work that way in real life. This tendency is clearly seen in the stories at the end of each chapter. Again Brinkman and Kirschner introduce us to some people in conflict. One character is a difficult person and the other employs the strategies spelled out by the authors. After the techniques are used, it is almost like magic that the difficult person begins to cooperate. Now this would be acceptable as a way to make your point, but often we are led to believe that each story is a recount of a real-life occurrence. So, unless the authors have found a real life magic bullet, they have lost a lot of credibility with this reader.
Another reason to look upon this book with suspicion is the fact that the authors apparently want us to believe that all of these ideas were somehow conceived, developed and born of their own brilliant minds. On only two occasions do the refer us to any other sources for the theories put forth in this book, and one of those is another book written by the same men. A book of this type should be able to direct us to other sources to back up the theories presented.
As stated earlier, this book is an excellent source for those who wish to manipulate co-workers and business associates, especially the first two-thirds of it. Towards the end though it does become a bit more personal and even more enjoyable to read. The last section of the book is certainly the freshest. Here we get some good advice on proper use and etiquette on the phone and using E-mail.
Rating: 5
Summary: excellent reference
Comment: I was actually required to read this book for a college leadership class. I found it to be an excellent resource and I would recommend this book to anyone. It has many implications dealing with leadership, but you do not need to be a leader to find this book helpful.
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Title: Since Strangling Isn't an Option...: Dealing With Difficult People-Common Problems and Uncommon Solutions by Sandra A. Crowe ISBN: 0399525408 Publisher: Perigee Pub. Date: October, 1999 List Price(USD): $13.95 |
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Title: Coping with Difficult People by Ph.D. Robert M. Bramson ISBN: 0440202019 Publisher: Dell Pub. Date: 01 September, 1988 List Price(USD): $7.50 |
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Title: 201 Ways to Deal With Difficult People (Quick-Tip Survival Guides) by Alan Axelrod, Jim Holtje, James Holtje ISBN: 0070062188 Publisher: McGraw-Hill/Contemporary Books Pub. Date: 01 May, 1997 List Price(USD): $10.95 |
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Title: Winning With Difficult People (Barrons Business Success Series) by Arthur H. Bell, Dayle M. Smith ISBN: 0812098943 Publisher: Barrons Educational Series Pub. Date: August, 1997 List Price(USD): $7.95 |
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Title: Jerks at Work: How to Deal With People Problems and Problem People by Ken Lloyd, Kenneth L. Lloyd ISBN: 1564143961 Publisher: Career Press Pub. Date: March, 1999 List Price(USD): $15.99 |
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