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Title: Women's Reality : An Emerging Female System by Anne Wilson Schaef ISBN: 0-06-250770-2 Publisher: Harper SanFrancisco Pub. Date: 03 January, 1992 Format: Paperback Volumes: 1 List Price(USD): $13.95 |
Average Customer Rating: 4.6 (10 reviews)
Rating: 4
Summary: Very insightful
Comment: This book can be pretty difficult to get into. The first couple of chapters are quite abstract, with the author writing about different realities and a pervasive White Male System that I felt was disconnected from my (White Male) worldview. However, the book becomes more and more grounded as it goes on, and the richness of Wilson Schaef's ideas do more than enough to redeem the awkward introduction.
For me, what the book does best is illustrate the benefits of shifting one's perspective. For instance, Wilson Schaef's take on responsibility: In her White Male System, responsibility is the targeting of blame, whereas in her Female System it is the willingness to respond. My own tendency in life has often been to associate responsibility with blame or burden, and so (especially at work) I often sought to avoid responsibility whenever possible. Learning to associate responsibility with "response," its etymological forebear, helped me to take on responsibilities at work and in relationships with more willingness and joy than I had previously thought possible. I'm sure some people will find such an association obvious and automatic, but for me it was not so.
There are several other similar philosophical gems in the book -- her discussion of "levels of truth" stands out, as does her perspectives on time, community, and family. The chapter on the Perfect Marriage, though it seemed too abstract at the time, has surprised me often in its connections with my own reality and ways of thinking.
The book's not perfect, by any means. Wilson Schaef is very locked into identity politics, and her "political correctness" has probably turned off many potential readers. Conservatives and libertarians will hate it, though many could probably get something from it. She also repeatedly claims that the White Male System is no better or worse than the Female System, but not once in the book does she point out anything positive about it. I found this annoying: if she's going to rip White Males (or our System), I'd rather she did it straightforwardly.
Those flaws aside, it's a good book, and well worth reading.
Rating: 5
Summary: Affirming and Potentially Life-Changing
Comment: This book was recommended to me by a psychologist during a mid-life career crisis. As a pioneer in a traditionally male field (engineering), I thought I had a pretty good understanding of the effects of sexism on women's lives. This book opened my eyes to deeper levels of understanding.
Women really do have a different reality than men because our life experiences are substantially different. (The same is true for racial minorities.) In both our personal and professional lives, we struggle to adapt to and gain the approval of a rigid "alien" White Male Culture that discounts our unique perceptions and talents while insisting that we conform to limited stereotyped roles of its own choosing. In this constrained environment, most of us are only partially successful in reaching our goal of becoming whole, valued individuals. The resulting widespread personal and societal dysfunction harms us all -- men as well as women. What a waste.
A basic flaw in the White Male System is its closed-mindedness in thinking that it has all the anwers. Differences are seen as threats that must be annihilated. The world in becoming increasingly global in nature, and the toxic effects of this attitude will increase. To survive and prosper, our society must embrace and learn from other cultures, including minorities within the U.S. Diversity is a strength, not a weakness.
I only wish I had read this book many years ago. It is full of thrilling "Aha!" moments, as one truth after another is affirmed. I saw myself and many other people I know in its pages, and I now have a deeper understanding of our struggles and the reasons behind various life choices. The insight gained from this book could have saved me much frustration and battered self-esteem by placing my career struggles within a larger context. The Southern corporate culture is particularly deeply entrenched in extreme White Male System thinking, so beware!
I also found the "levels of reality" concept fascinating and plausible. It's exciting to see life as a progression of stages moving toward increased knowledge and maturity rather than as a narrow, stagnant rut.
Realization of the formidable obstacles we face makes the substantial progress women have made during the past three decades even more impressive. I wholeheartedly thank the author Anne Wilson Schaef and other feminist pioneers for moving us toward a more functional culture.
Rating: 5
Summary: Mom wanted me to read this
Comment: Mom wanted me to read this about 3 years ago,when I was diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder. I finally read it now. I am very glad I did,the version I read was the first one so it was a bit outdated,however it had very good information. This book helped me to realize myself as a female and what effects a white male society has on me.
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Title: When Society Becomes an Addict by Anne Wilson Schaef ISBN: 0062548549 Publisher: Harper SanFrancisco Pub. Date: 20 April, 1988 List Price(USD): $13.00 |
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Title: Co-Dependence : Misunderstood--Mistreated by Anne Wilson Schaef ISBN: 0062507699 Publisher: Harper SanFrancisco Pub. Date: 03 January, 1992 List Price(USD): $11.95 |
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Title: The Addictive Organization : Why We Overwork, Cover Up, Pick Up the Pieces, Please the Boss, and Perpetuate S by Anne Wilson Schaef ISBN: 0062548743 Publisher: Harper SanFrancisco Pub. Date: 14 September, 1990 List Price(USD): $15.00 |
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Title: Escape from Intimacy : Untangling the ``Love'' Addictions: Sex, Romance, Relationships by Anne Wilson Schaef ISBN: 0062548735 Publisher: Harper SanFrancisco Pub. Date: 31 August, 1990 List Price(USD): $13.00 |
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Title: Living in Process: Basic Truths for Living the Path of the Soul by Anne Wilson Schaef ISBN: 0345435672 Publisher: Ballantine Books Pub. Date: 05 October, 1999 List Price(USD): $12.95 |
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