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Title: Kids, Parents, and Power Struggles : Winning for a Lifetime by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka ISBN: 0-06-093043-8 Publisher: Quill Pub. Date: 19 February, 2001 Format: Paperback Volumes: 1 List Price(USD): $13.00 |
Average Customer Rating: 4.62 (16 reviews)
Rating: 5
Summary: Absolutely terrific...
Comment: Reading parenting books is practically a secret addiction of mine -- I read about one a month, sometimes more, and have read dozens since my son was born. Barbara Coloroso's Kids Are Worth It!(a great book) has held first place on my favorites list for the last three years, but Mary Kurcinka just knocked her off with Kids, Parents and Power Struggles. This is the best parenting book I've ever read and I highly, highly recommend it. I think the title was a little misleading -- the book wasn't as much about power struggles as it was about learning how to help your kids handle their emotions appropriately. It's also heavily oriented (not surprisingly, from the author of Raising Your Spirited Child) toward understanding your individual child -- his or her needs, temperament,and personality and how those factors affect behavior. The content is great. And the delivery is also wonderful. Kurcinka's writing style is clear, informative, thoughtful -- and fun!
Rating: 5
Summary: A Prescription for Peace: Getting a Handle on Emotions
Comment: Based on Daniel Goleman's book, Emotional Intelligence, and the author's own research in her practice, this book's basic premise is that conflicts in families can be resolved by understanding, recongnizing, and dealing with emotions effectively. Since these are skills wanting in many of us, the author suggests we teach our children and ourselves at the same time. Good advice.
Carefully, patiently, she leads us through the basics: empathy, self calming, recongnizing feelings, listening, recognizing different temperaments and personality styles. Then she gives us the tools for coaching our children to become more effective in handling their feelings: to recognize them, name them, express them and seek a satisfactory resolution without being destructive to others.
Nothing here is so revolutionary, but the approach of thinking about your child's difficult behavior as a cry for help in dealing with underlying emotions is incredibly helpful. Once you have tuned into this idea, it short-circuits your tendency to react to such behavior with knee-jerk, authoritarian stuff you are reading these books to avoid. You end up working with your child, not against him, and isn't that the point?
Different parenting books work for different people. This might be the one for you. One caveat: the paper on this not inexpensive hardcover edition is cheap, cheap, and the type small and gray. You'd expect more from HarperCollins.
Rating: 2
Summary: Good in Theory
Comment: The messages in this book cannot be faulted: treat your child with respect and teach self control. The prequel, "Raising Your Spirited Child", teaches parents to first adjust to their child's temperament and is quite good. Much of content is repeated in this book. The disadvantage of this book is that the messages get lost in the overly abundant stories used to humanize and illustrate behavioral points. And all have simple causes and neat conclusions. Reading was slow and not particularly beneficial. For a parenting book that better addresses common problems, common responses and better responses, read "How to Talk to Your Child". However, there's still the need for a book that addresses how to handle situations where time doesn't allow diplomacy or diplomacy doesn't yield results.
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