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Title: If You Had Controlling Parents : How to Make Peace with Your Past and Take Your Place in the World by Dan Neuharth ISBN: 0-06-092932-4 Publisher: Quill Pub. Date: 01 October, 1999 Format: Paperback Volumes: 1 List Price(USD): $14.00 |
Average Customer Rating: 4.71 (28 reviews)
Rating: 5
Summary: fantastic book
Comment: This book was written for those of us who grew up in an unhealthy environment, and had parents who controlled us in unhealthy ways. The author emphasizes working through our issues as adults, not playing "blame games." Interviews with people from all walks of life are liberally quoted throughout each chapter.
What makes this book exceptional is that the author is advocating education and change, not revenge. He shows how examining your parents' history in detail can help you heal and move forward as a fully functioning adult free to make decisions based on something else than what your parents' would say.
Controlling parents don't have to be outwardly abusive nor do they always have malevolent intentions towards their children. However, trauma stays with a person and its after-effects can be passed on to the next generation.
The author clearly contrasts unhealthy with healthy parenting and offers checklists to help the reader. He explores why people overcontrol, and he provides exercises to help the reader work through his or her feelings. Most helpfully, he reiterates that it was not the reader's fault, and it is not required that the reader change - but if he or she begins to explore that possibility, it can lead to great rewards.
Rating: 5
Summary: If you had controlling parents - please read this book
Comment: If you had controlling parents, this book is one that you must read! It is indeed a life changing book.
This book is written with compassion, personal experience and years of research.
Controlling parenting and the effects on the psyche of the adult of such a childhood is enormous. However, this topic is not one that is often discussed. Therefore, adults of such childhood experiences often dwell with personal problems that are not understood within the proper context.
This book will lead you on a journey of self-discovery. It will tie together loose ends and make sense of unresolved issues and personal struggles. Dr. Neuharth helps the reader to understand that whatever personal issues they are facing, they can and will overcome them. The book discusses the different paths/resources one can take to begin the journey toward wholeness and health and encourages the reader to begin that journey.
The real work must be done once someone completes the book. They must decide what path they will choose to heal from their controlling childhoods and begin that journey.
Hats off to Dr. Neuharth for writing such a comprehensive compassionate and informative book that will set all who read it on the path to personal freedom and growth.
Rating: 5
Summary: This book helped me tremendously
Comment: This is the only book that I have read regarding growing up in a painful childhood that made complete sense to me. I couldn't believe how much I related. Before I read the book, I was asking myself if I had an abusive childhood. After all, my parents were always telling me that they loved me. But, they only said it with words, never showed it with actions. I was not physically or sexually abused. I was emotionally abused and severly neglected. It all made sense to me when I realized the controlling nature of my parents fit into the abuse category. I strongly identified with this book. I realized that I was right in my feelings that I had an unhealthy childhood. This book was very validating and liberating for me and it was easy to read. It was not filled with a bunch of over-my-head language. I read this book about 5 or so years ago, I think. But, it has been an invaluable resource for me.(...)When I need more information or resources, I usually end up on his website.
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Title: Toxic Parents : Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life by Susan Forward ISBN: 0553381407 Publisher: Bantam Pub. Date: 02 January, 2002 List Price(USD): $13.95 |
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Title: Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You by Susan Forward, Donna Frazier ISBN: 0060928972 Publisher: Quill Pub. Date: 01 April, 1998 List Price(USD): $13.00 |
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Title: Children of the Self-Absorbed: A Grown-Up's Guide to Getting over Narcissistic Parents by Nina W. Brown ISBN: 1572242310 Publisher: New Harbinger Pubns Pub. Date: 30 March, 2001 List Price(USD): $14.95 |
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Title: Adult Children of Abusive Parents by M.F.C.C. M.A. Steven Farmer ISBN: 0345363884 Publisher: Ballantine Books Pub. Date: 14 April, 1990 List Price(USD): $13.95 |
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Title: Controlling People: How to Recognize, Understand, and Deal With People Who Try to Control You by Patricia Evans ISBN: 158062569X Publisher: Adams Media Corporation Pub. Date: January, 2002 List Price(USD): $12.95 |
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