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Title: When Boundaries Betray Us: Beyond Illusions of What Is Ethical in Therapy and Life by Carter Heyward, Janet L. Surrey ISBN: 0-06-063896-6 Publisher: Harper SanFrancisco Pub. Date: January, 1995 Format: Paperback Volumes: 1 List Price(USD): $10.00 |
Average Customer Rating: 3 (4 reviews)
Rating: 1
Summary: how terribly sad
Comment: When a woman writes a book from a perspective of a wounded client who exhibits such narcissistic tendencies (if not full blown pathology), and parades how out of touch, demanding and unwilling or unable to work through her therapy she is, and then attempts to justify her own inability to connect with her deeper self, it just seems sad. It is also a gross injustice to the analytic and therapeutic communities and their understandings of what the real inner work is about. While reading Carter's book all I could think of was why didn't her so called 'meaningful' relationships manage to see through her acting out and assist her in shifting to the inner drama she was attempting to act out once more with a therapist. The analytic literature (especially Schwartz-Salant and Johnson's books on Narcissism) clearly articulates the stages of inner work that Carter consistently attempted to avoid through her displacement of her unsatisfied needs onto her therapeutic relationship. I would love to hear Elizabeth's side of the journey, for I suspect she knew and was unwilling to collude in another "violent" relationship that would duplicate the unsatisfying inner relationship that Carter both demands and wants replicated. I suspect down the road, if she ever manages to break through the narcissistic 'split' and quits displacing her 'empty holes' onto spirituality, political patriarchy etc., she will arrive at a much different appreciation of how her therapist did exactly what was needed to invite Carter into her own self's drama, and it was Carter's inability to hold that tension that led to her termination. Oh how terribly sad.
Rating: 5
Summary: A brilliant work & embarrassing to psychotherapy profession!
Comment: I found this book to be an excellent study as to how badly a psychotherapist can damage a clients emotional and psychological health, and then blame or discredit the client for bringing on that damage, instead of taking responsibility for harming the client and trying to repair the damage done. This is called counter-transference in the profession. This happens when a psychotherapist "loses" control of their faculties within the therapeutic relationship and it is sad to see therapists go off the deep end. The therapist is more responsible than the client for keeping therapy under control, because it is the therapist who has the professional training and experience. If the therapist described in this story had kept their wits about them, this sad situation would never have happened. It takes two to tango.
I can also fully understand why many psychotherapists including social workers and psychologists would dislike this book; many therapists do not like to take responsibility for counter transference, which is basically a therapists mental illness projected towards the client. It does not portray the profession in a good light. It does, however, bring out many unfortunate truths inherent within the psychotherapy industry, and also is a premier as to what kind of psychotherapists to avoid. It get's five stars from me! A book with guts, for a client who was harmed to not only stand up for their rights, but ALSO to write a book about it I am impressed!
Rating: 5
Summary: I found this book brilliant.
Comment: Carter Heyward has written a brilliant book on the failure of her psychotherapist, in essence, to own her issues. In contrast to another review I read about this book, it is not an 'embarrassing read on borderline behavior", but rather the very real development of a relationship. I actually identified t with this book as I had a very similar experience with a therapist. There are VERY few models that I have found that deal with the "patient" BECOMING, and maturing and being able to challenge the therapist. This is precisely because therapy is built on a patriarchal model, and this is what Ms. Heyward very thoroughly (perhaps a tad redundant at times) describes. Either health exists inside a person, and needs healing, or it is "given" to the person, as the patriarchal model suggests. There needs to be mutuality for development of health and relationship. She is extremely insightful, and articulate in her writing, and describes the push- ! ! pull of a relationship developing very accurately. I think if one is a psychotherapist in a traditional sense, it is almost impossible for one to understand this book, for precisely the reason that Carter suggests. She is way beyond her colleagues, and any genius in this world that shines, is always in the beginning, harshly criticized. Excellent book, and the critiques in the end are excellent as well.
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Title: Ethics of Caring: Honoring the Web of Life in Our Professional Healing Relationships by Kylea Taylor, Jack Kornfield ISBN: 0964315815 Publisher: Hanford Mead Publishers Pub. Date: June, 1995 List Price(USD): $20.95 |
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Title: The Men We Long to Be: Beyond Lonely Warriors and Desperate Lovers by Stephen Blake Boyd ISBN: 0829812016 Publisher: Pilgrim Pr Pub. Date: October, 1997 List Price(USD): $17.95 |
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Title: Enhancing Self Esteem by C. Jesse Carlock, Diane Enhancing Self-Esteem Frey ISBN: 1560323965 Publisher: Taylor & Francis Pub. Date: 01 August, 1998 List Price(USD): $41.95 |
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Title: The Discerning Heart: Discovering a Personal God by Maureen, R.S.M. Conroy ISBN: 0829407529 Publisher: Loyola Pr Pub. Date: October, 1993 List Price(USD): $13.95 |
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Title: Faithful Change: The Personal and Public Challenges of Postmodern Life by James W. Fowler ISBN: 0687097207 Publisher: Abingdon Press Pub. Date: August, 2001 List Price(USD): $21.00 |
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