Order from a Major Online Bookstore
Ultimate Book Price Comparison Engine
Save Your Time And Money
| AnyBook4Less.com | Order from a Major Online Bookstore |
|
| Home | Store List | FAQ | Contact Us | | ||
| Ultimate Book Price Comparison Engine Save Your Time And Money |
||
 |
Title: Are Those Kids Yours? : American Families With Children Adopted From Other Countries by Cheri Register ISBN: 0-02-925750-6 Publisher: Free Press Pub. Date: 30 November, 1990 Format: Hardcover Volumes: 1 List Price(USD): $26.00 |
Average Customer Rating: 4.3 (10 reviews)
Rating: 5
Summary: A very important read for prospective adoptive parents
Comment: This book explores many of the practical and ethical issues of adopting internationally and implications this has for newly created multi-racial families. This book will disabuse you of the 'we-are-a-clourblind-family' mentality and discusses very real isues children experience as they grow up in multi-racial families. I found it to be sobering, and I gained new respect for families who decide to take the international adoption route. Many of the stories she relates deal with the well-documented case studies of US-Korean adoptions, so for parents starting out in the adoption process, it is nice to gain insight into how others have handled the situations that are unique to this kind of adoption.
This is a great read, an important read, just sobering at times. Don't adopt internationally without reading this book.
Rating: 5
Summary: Thought-provoking and insightful!
Comment: Register's thoughtful discussion of what international adoption can mean to a family and to a child should be a part of the reading list for any family or individual considering adopting internationally. This is not a "how-to" book, and Register specifically recommends that if you are looking for information about the details of adopting from any specific country you should find up-to-date sources that focus on those issues. This book focuses on the life-long implications of international adoption, and helps families think through the meaning of their decisions. Register adresses such issues as these: What does it mean to be an interracial family? What have been the experiences of families who suddenly become the target of comments and stares? What is the experience of a non-adopted sibling when a child of another race is adopted into the family? What are the ethical implications of wealthy (by global standards) Western families adopting children from poorer nations? How can potential parents avoid and detect situations which promote exploitation or coercion of birthparents? How can we help our children develop a meaningful cultural identity without personal experience of part of their cultural heritage? What does it mean to a child to be "rootless" without identifiable genetic heritage? How can our personal experiences as adoptive families help to make a difference in the lives of those siblings and cousins and crib-mates of our child who are still living in orphanages and/or on the street in their home country?
Despite the discussion of some difficult and sobering topics, Register's book comes across as very positive toward international adoption. Register herself has two daughters adopted from Korea, and she shares many of her experiences and the joys that she has had in raising them.
Many of the anecdotes in this book feature children adopted from Korea, but the issues apply to children from a variety of cultural backgrounds. The Korean context is particularly helpful in that the children who were Korean war orphans are now adults, and Register was able to interview adoptees of a variety of ages, including those adults, and the insights of these older adoptees about their experiences and what they wish their adoptive parents had and had not done is particularly helpful.
Overall a very thought-provoking book, and one that will help potential adoptive parents think beyond paperwork, furnishing a room, and getting passports. Highly recommended.
Rating: 4
Summary: Grappling with the big issues
Comment: This book is an introduction to some of the major issues involved in foreign adoptions. It is written for perspective adoptive parents, their family members and friends. Register takes up each of the major issues in turn, and she has based the book both on her own experience as a mother of two girls adopted from Korea, and on anecdotal interviews with adopted children of various ages and their other family members. She starts the book with the motivations for foreign adoption, from the plight of the abandoned or relinquished children, to the parents whose reasons for adoption may range from altruism to pure selfishness. She goes on to describe how the children may be matched with parents, and then the pivotal event in the families' lives, the moment when the child joins the family. Next comes a discussion of how new family ties are constructed, then methods that various parents have used to inform the child about the adoption experience. As the child grows older, major identity questions come to the fore, and children may choose to seek out their biological parents and homeland. The book closes with a chapter on the global family, in which Register stresses that foreign adoptions should only be seen as temporary measures, while the real goal should be to ensure that every child is able to grow up in his or her homeland with a loving family, enough to eat, and meaningful educational opportunities. At the end of the book is a list of recommended readings for further information, as well as a list of child welfare, advocacy, and adoption organizations.
Register takes up some of the negatives of adoption as well as the positives. She describes how foreign adopted children have many more opportunities for education than they would have in their homelands, and they are certainly much more likely to be well nourished, both physically and mentally, following adoption. But she also points out the burden placed on them by being taken from their home countries, where they look just like everyone else, to becoming minorities once they are here. Their parents, family members, and friends, may soon see them as just another kid, but strangers will give them odd looks, and bullies will taunt them.
The one point where I disagree with Register is in her downplaying of the genetic component in personality. At one point, she takes up the issue, and cites the example of two outgoing parents who were mystified at how their adopted daughter could be so quiet, since she grew up in their home and family. But she dismisses this by saying that environment does indeed play a large role in personality development. Environment undeniably plays a large role in a child's development, especially in the early years, where a poor environment can result in lifelong difficulties. On the other hand, as a child gets older and hormones start kicking in, the genetically programmed aspects of a person's personality begin to play out more and more. Perhaps Register wasn't aware of this, given the 1990 publication date of this volume, as much of the research on genetically controlled aspects of personality has been relatively recent. In any case, differences between parental expectations, siblings' behavior, and an adolescent adopted child's behavior can lead to major problems for the child and the family, and this is one issue that really should have received more attention in a book of this kind. Parental expectations are also sources of major anxiety when the question of higher education arises. Most of the parents of foreign adopted children are middle and upper-middle class, but the children come from a wide range of backgrounds, mostly working class or poor. Middle class parents are generally college-educated, and there is some expectation, stated or not, that their children will attend and do well in college. Certainly, this is what parental dreams are based on- -even Register herself says that she has such dreams for her own children. But each child has a unique set of gifts and talents, and for many foreign adopted children, their strengths are in fields other than academics. They may put in a valiant effort at academics, and certainly, many succeed quite well in competitive colleges. But others feel defeated by their parents' unreasonable expectations. This, combined with feelings of confusion, abandonment by their birth mothers, and rejection by a society that is only now beginning to recognize its inherent racism, can lead to enormous psychological burdens. This isn't to say that foreign children shouldn't be adopted, but that parents need to be aware from the outset that their children's future will be a complete unknown, and the adopted child's young adulthood may start much differently than their own.
 |
Title: Raising Adopted Children, Revised Edition : Practical Reassuring Advice for Every Adoptive Parent by Lois Ruskai Melina ISBN: 0060957174 Publisher: Perennial Pub. Date: 01 August, 1998 List Price(USD): $13.95 |
 |
Title: Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew by Sherrie Eldridge ISBN: 044050838X Publisher: Dell Pub. Date: 12 October, 1999 List Price(USD): $13.95 |
 |
Title: Real Parents, Real Children ; Parenting the Adopted Child: Parenting the Adopted Child by Holly Van Gulden, Lisa M. Bartels-Rabb ISBN: 0824515145 Publisher: Crossroad/Herder & Herder Pub. Date: September, 1995 List Price(USD): $19.95 |
 |
Title: Attaching in Adoption: Practical Tools for Today's Parents by Deborah D. Gray ISBN: 0944934293 Publisher: Perspectives Press Pub. Date: 30 April, 2002 List Price(USD): $24.95 |
 |
Title: LifeBooks : Creating a Treasure for the Adopted Child by Beth O'Malley ISBN: 0970183275 Publisher: Adoption-Works Pub. Date: 22 June, 2000 List Price(USD): $14.95 |
Thank you for visiting www.AnyBook4Less.com and enjoy your savings!
Copyright� 2001-2021 Send your comments
