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Title: I Know You Really Love Me: A Psychiatrist's Journal of Erotomania, Stalking, and Obsessive Love by Doreen R. M.D. Orion ISBN: 0-02-861665-0 Publisher: Hungry Minds, Inc Pub. Date: June, 1997 Format: Hardcover Volumes: 1 List Price(USD): $23.95 |
Average Customer Rating: 4.8 (5 reviews)
Rating: 5
Summary: Intriguing story
Comment: I read this over the summer as my summer reading for an Advanced Placement Psychology course (I got to choose the book.) I found it striking how I had never heard of this form of stalking, yet it is a very real thing. This made me think twice about going into psychology as a major, but after a while the edge wore off. The book is a must-read for anyone into psych, especially abnormal psych.
Rating: 5
Summary: Not just frightening for women!
Comment: As a male Sophomore in college reading this book I was thoroghly terrified! It is noted that this does not just happen to women, but to men as well. Many times after reading this book was I looking around my car before getting into it, just making sure Fran Nightingale wasn't lurking behind it! Genuinly frightening (moreso because its a true story) read for either gender!
Rating: 4
Summary: A Must-Read for ALL young women. It can happen to anyone.
Comment: This is the first real Pop-psych book that describes the Stalking Phenomenon in correct and accurate Mental Health language. This book was recommended to me by a City Prosecuter who felt it would help me understand why My Ex-boyfriend stalked me with the aid of his new wife (of all people!). Stalking is NOT just ex-boyfriends and Yes, women can become erotically obsessed with other women in a non-sexual manner OR, as in my case, they can be motivated to carry on an Erotomanic pursuit of a target whom their lover has been stalking which can resultin a whole new range of Stalking behavior. This particular book deals with a Patient stalking her Psychiatrist with whom she has become obsessed - a common subset of Erotomania. However, the book also attempts and manages to cover pretty well the basics of Erotomaniacally motivated Stalkings in general which makes it a valuable addition to anyone's Library. ANYONE can become a target and Young Women should read a book like this before they leave home or college to enter the workforce. Even that may not be soon enough since I know of a few cases where friends of mine have had their highschool and junior high aged daughters subjected to such behavior. Even so.. I feel it is fair to say this is an essential book for Young Women. Men of all ages should and can read this as well, but statisically, women are at a higher risk which is why I singled them out as a group.
What really makes this book work is that the writer has been targetted herself which permits her to identify with her reader in a way that she could not if she were merely a Clinician attempting to describe this illness or a law enforcement official trying to describe how to deal with it via the Legal System. The sad facts are that your friends and family will usually NOT understand what you are going through and many people will wonder if perhaps you yourself have done something to set the erotomaniac off. Another sad fact is that going to the Law may cause an escalation in the Stalking and you may also be greeted with the preconceived notion again that the victim has done something to encourage the mentally ill Stalker. Since the author has lived with a longterm, dedicated Stalker, she is able to relate and describe the specific brand of terror you feel under the circumstances. If you have never, for example, lived peacefully and proserously for, oh, a year maybe 18 months only to look up one day and see your old Stalker smiling at you from across the street from your new home in a new town in a new State under an unlisted number without your name on the lease, you won't be able to speak to the audience for this book.
Now that I have communicated her closeness to the subject let me say just this: The police generally don't understand Stalkers so if you are being Stalked, it is now YOUR job to learn to understand their behavior as best you can. This book and Gavin DeBecker's THE GIFT OF FEAR will give you a good start. Once you have these two under your belt, you will begin to see that there is no real effective system in place for dealing with Erotomania when it intrudes on your life in a criminal manner and therefore you must make some careful choices as to how to react or whether to react at all. In my own case, My longterm Stalker seeks attention to his and his wife's actions towards me. If I react by calling the police or filing reports of restraining order violations, they go into full steam ahead mode as opposed to when I choose not to react and they eventually get bored by my refusal to bat the tennis ball back into their court an they quiet down for a few months. I feel one of the best messages of this book is to give you, the reader, a Psychiatric portrait of this illness instead of the usual folk wisdom stuff we are fed by the daytime talk-shows, the local news and via hand-me down info from friends and family who have brushed up against Stalkings. This is a valuable book and tool in your own fight to arm yourself with info and preserve your own sanity by learning about that peculiar brand of metally ill person who has either already made you the most important thing in their life or might at some point in the future. Good luck. Be safe. Remember, you are your own best protector.
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Title: Surviving a Stalker: Everything You Need to Know to Keep Yourself Safe by Linden Gross ISBN: 1569246041 Publisher: Marlowe & Company Pub. Date: 29 August, 2000 List Price(USD): $14.95 |
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