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Title: An Asperger Marriage by Gisela Slater-Walker, Christopher Slater-Walker ISBN: 1-84310-017-7 Publisher: Jessica Kingsley Pub Pub. Date: 01 March, 2002 Format: Paperback Volumes: 1 List Price(USD): $18.95 |
Average Customer Rating: 4 (4 reviews)
Rating: 5
Summary: An Asperger Marriage
Comment: WHY is this book good? Because like the first book dedicated to Asperger Marriage, Maxine Aston's "The Other Half of Asperger Syndrome," Gisela and Chris Slater-Walker have broken the barrier of the ring of "silence" surrounding partners' description of their own unique relationships in a "mixed marriage."
For anyone wishing to understand one couple's take on Asperger marriage, this book is a "must read." It is such a book not for the truth it depicts about AS, but for the process of frank communication and openness much needed in our culture of secrets about life-altering differences and the common phenomenon of late-life adult diagnosis of Asperger Syndrome.
WHY is this book important?
(1) It is important for readers to appreciate that mixed marriages exist, and they not only "survive" but thrive largely due to the open exchange of views between the partners. Because of the prevalence of Asperger Syndrome and a fifty-fifty chance that a primary relative is also somewhere on the autistic spectrum whenever a school child or young adult is "discovered," these "discoveries" come from somewhere. In most cases, AS children come from "mixed marriages."
(2) Within such marriages, especially where there are children, there are discrete, distinct voices waiting to be heard, each voice "speaking" from its owner's unique perspective. Disparaging those voices because they aren't harmonious is not respectful nor is it an intelligent kind of criticism.
On the cover of the book, the marriage band is not "broken." Some persons with AS will say, "My non-spectrum spouse is playing 'victim' and trying to change me or 'fix' me when I don't see a need to be changed. I am NOT broken!" In this book, Gisela and Chris offer a different perspective, revealing their frustration and discomfort as publicly to each other as they do to us, their readers. To bottle up such feelings works havoc on a marriage where both partners are trying to understand one another. For both partners to express themselves so openly is neither an act of abuse or disrespect. It is testimony to their courage and the faith they both share in the strength of their marriage.
Gisela is one of the founding members of ASPIRES. ... ASPIRES is
dedicated to supporting the open discussion of marital and couples' issues of AS couples for the purpose of greater understanding and enrichment of this special relationship.
Linda Newland, Co-Founder and list serv owner, ASPIRES
Roger N. Meyer, Co-Founder of ASPIRES and author, "Asperger Syndrome Employment Workbook"
Rating: 3
Summary: Explanation without assistance
Comment: First comment: Flog the editor. Perhaps the cumbersome and confusing writing-style was intentional; however, I fear that it was merely sloppy.
Second comment: Having AS myself, I was hoping for insights into coping and avoiding pitfalls. Instead, what I got was a chronicle of another couple's fumbles, stumbles and misunderstandings. I suppose the book lived up to its title; it never promised that it contained solutions or recommendations, merely that it was about An Asperger Marriage. I am still surprised by Tony Attwood's endorsement of this book.
Summary: If you want a peak into the lives of one "Asperger Marriage", this book may be for you. If, on the other hand, you're looking for advice and guidance, keep looking. (and let me know when you find it!)
Rating: 5
Summary: Designed to help couples where only ONE is an "aspie"
Comment: Many people around the world have found difficulties in a Asperger's marriage (if only one of the couple has it). This book identifies by specific example how the differences of thought processing and outlook on life can lead to total lack of communication and understanding between two well meaning individuals who actually do love each other.
Gisela and Chris write from their own personal experiences, and through their effort are attempting to show others that a marriage can succeed when an "aspie" (an individual with Asperger's Syndrome) marries a "non-aspie". They each write a short essay on the same subject--and by reading both essays, it is easy to see how the lack of common viewpoint causes problems in understanding. It is an excellent starting point for you and your spouse to discuss some of the problems that may be vexing your own marriage.
This book would not be educational for a marriage with 2 aspies, nor for one with 2 non-aspies. After all, that marriage has different problems, but none of the problems are caused by the aspie/non-aspie lack of understanding. The number of cases of identified Asperger's Syndrome world wide is greatly increasing, and there are many unsuspecting couples who are facing the AS problems that Chris and Gisela discuss. Perhaps this book will help you save your marriage??
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Title: Asperger Syndrome and Long-Term Relationships by Ashley Stanford, Liane Holliday Willey ISBN: 1843107341 Publisher: Jessica Kingsley Pub Pub. Date: 20 January, 2003 List Price(USD): $19.95 |
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Title: Aspergers in Love: Couple Relationships and Family Affairs by Maxine Aston ISBN: 1843101157 Publisher: Jessica Kingsley Pub Pub. Date: 01 May, 2003 List Price(USD): $22.95 |
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Title: Pretending to be Normal: Living with Asperger's Syndrome by Liane Holliday Willey, Tony Attwood ISBN: 1853027499 Publisher: Jessica Kingsley Pub Pub. Date: 15 July, 1999 List Price(USD): $17.95 |
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Title: Living and Loving with Asperger Syndrome: Family Viewpoints by Patrick McCabe, Estelle McCabe, Jared McCabe ISBN: 1843107449 Publisher: Jessica Kingsley Pub Pub. Date: 01 January, 2003 List Price(USD): $18.95 |
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Title: Asperger's Syndrome: A Guide for Parents and Professionals by Tony Attwood, Lorna Wing ISBN: 1853025771 Publisher: Jessica Kingsley Pub Pub. Date: January, 1998 List Price(USD): $18.95 |
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