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Title: My Husband Is Gay: A Woman's Survival Guide by Carol Grever ISBN: 1-58091-089-0 Publisher: Crossing Press Pub. Date: 10 May, 2001 Format: Paperback Volumes: 1 List Price(USD): $14.95 |
Average Customer Rating: 4.4 (5 reviews)
Rating: 5
Summary: No one wants to have to buy this book, but sure happy I did!
Comment: Let's face it, the world is changing. I didn't want to have to buy this book, but I did and I'm happy I did.
My situation differs from most because I was not "married" to my partner, but we do share a child. However, I found the book to apply just as well. The stories in here lessen the feeling of being "alone".
Through this entire ordeal I've hated the idea that I couldn't talk to anyone about what I was going through. This book helped me to open up more about my situation - realize it's not my fault.
I'd highly recommend this to anyone. It took me 4 years to get more information on it, don't waste any time!
Rating: 3
Summary: What about the straight spouse?
Comment: This book was a good accounting of the various stages of grief experienced by a straight spouse to whom it is revealed in whatever manner that her husband is gay. It gives the straight spouse validation that she is not alone.
However, to my disappointment, but book seems far too slanted toward the gay spouse, his struggle, how horrible it must have been, is, for him. It seems to guide the straight wife down a path that leads to "it's okay, I still love him, we can still be friends". For me, this will never be okay,and it should never be okay. Unfaithfulness is NOT OKAY. That is not to say that I am going to be angry forever in a destructive way. I am angry now (1 1/2 years after my divorce and almost nine years after I first found out)but I know that will get less intense. Straight spouses need to stand up for themselves and be counted, need to say that this is NOT okay and that the gay spouses need to take responsibility for not knowing himself and not being honest with himself and women they married. It is not okay to be unfaithful to your wife, even if it is with another man because you are gay. You get the divorce first, take responsibility for any children and other practical aspects of the marriage, and then move on if you must. This book seems to pity the gay men in marriages and has not nearly enough support and sympathy for the wives who are almost invariably left with all the responsiiblity - the author herself admits that her husband spent time on vacation with other men, leaving her to shoulder the full load of the business they owned together. Just because someone is gay and married does not give them license to abdicate responsibility, and this author seems to let the gay men off way too easily. More attention should be given to empowering the straight spouses to stand up for themselves and demand that their gay husbands shoulder their end of the marriage bargain. Nothing in the marriage vows states "till death do us part, unless I discover I'm gay and then all bets are off".
Rating: 5
Summary: Right on Target
Comment: As Director of the Straight Spouse Network, having listened to the stories of thousands of spouses, I can say without hesitation that My Husband is Gay presents an accurate picture of the ups and downs of a wife's painful journey after her husband reveals he is [homosexual] or bisexual. Weaving her personal story along with those of many other womenn she interviewed, Carol Grever offers a broad spectrum of practical models for how to get through this crisis in one piece -- and also the possibilites of growth through the process.
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Title: The Other Side of the Closet: The Coming-Out Crisis for Straight Spouses and Families, Revised and Expanded Edition by Amity Pierce Buxton ISBN: 0471021520 Publisher: John Wiley & Sons Pub. Date: 24 May, 1994 List Price(USD): $18.95 |
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Title: When Husbands Come Out of the Closet by J. Gochros ISBN: 0918393612 Publisher: Haworth (T) Pub. Date: May, 1989 List Price(USD): $19.95 |
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Title: Is He Straight : A Checklist for Women Who Wonder by Bonnie Kaye ISBN: 0595004393 Publisher: iUniverse.com Pub. Date: May, 2000 List Price(USD): $12.95 |
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Title: Husbands Who Love Men by Arleen H. Alwood, Aileen H. Atwood, Jack Edward Siemsen, Dr. Aileen H. Atwood ISBN: 0966594207 Publisher: AMI Publishers Pub. Date: 24 March, 1999 List Price(USD): $19.95 |
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Title: Bisexual and Gay Husbands: Their Stories, Their Words by Fred Klein, Fritz Klein, Thomas Schwartz ISBN: 156023167X Publisher: Haworth Press Pub. Date: 15 January, 2002 List Price(USD): $29.95 |
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