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Title: The Myth of Monogamy : Fidelity and Infidelity in Animals and People by David P. Barash Ph.D., Judith Eve Lipton M.D. ISBN: 0-7167-4004-4 Publisher: W H Freeman & Co. Pub. Date: 01 May, 2001 Format: Hardcover Volumes: 1 List Price(USD): $24.95 |
Average Customer Rating: 3.5 (14 reviews)
Rating: 5
Summary: "We are biological creatures . . . "
Comment: Keep that notion in mind as you follow the authors on their marvelous tour of sexual behaviour in all nature. Most of us were raised with the notion that humans "must" be monogamous. Often, animals such as swans or foxes were held up as examples to emulate. Barash and Lipton expose the hollow basis of these examples. The notion of human monogamy becomes a fragile ideal - nature, and we are part of nature, is anything but monogamous. In a book combining solid science and entertaining prose, this pair have produced an informal, but information-packed review of new finds in the sexual behaviour of a wealth of species.
One small flaw must be dealt with first - sexual behaviour studies must retreat from overuse of the poor screw-worm fly. The authors cannot resist numerous word plays on the poor creature's name. As the subject of an early attempt at controlling pest populations, the screw-worm fly initiated the host of studies of sexual behaviour among animals. Barash and Lipton describe sterilization of this insect as largely successful, reducing its population significantly. Screw-
worm flies are monogamous, which reinforced the notion as predominant in nature. However, a 1970s groundbreaking paper indicated monogamy might not be universal in animals. From that start a wealth of new studies demonstrated that it was monogamy that was rare, not the reverse. The screw-worm fly turned out to be a rare exception to the rule, and the basis of comparison for the later research.
Bowing to the expected abuse of "anthropomorphising" biology, the authors eschew "adultry" in favour of EPC [Extra Pair Copulation] in describing the common practice in nature. They show the distinction between "social" and "sexual" pairing. Social pairing includes nest building, territorial defence, raising offspring and other "family matters." Copulation itself, they show, has many more factors involved than simply insemination. Mates must be available, attractive or both. Age, health, even "marital status" may be taken into consideration. And these factors are weighed for "adultery" in animals! Males might need a special physiology or the ability to prevent EPC, even while seeking to achieve it on their own.
As they must, the authors arrive at last at humans. Noting how difficult research on human sexual behaviour is to document, they cite, albeit with many reservations, several noteworthy studies. If nothing else, the work proclaims that monogamy among humans is not the "norm." In relating the studies, they present anthropological data, surveys of modern societies and clinical studies. The authors grind no axes and are quick to criticise studies they feel are suspect. The dearth of valid data, however, leads them to present any plausible suggestion that seems either supportable or capable of further investigation. Throughout the narrative they insist that no predictable pattern can be applied to humans any more than with the other animals. Even our closest relatives all retain individuality among their members.
A running theme in the book is the authors' call for more research. How do female blue tits judge the ability of some males to resist winter cold more than others. "No one knows. [Yet]" and similar statements permeate the book. Anyone fearing there is little in biology left to investigate should read this. The sparseness of their references certainly supports this plea. While much work has been done, particularly in recent years, an immense range of study topics remains to be investigated. Younger readers should seriously consider the number of topics requiring clarification. A valuable book for these and many reasons.
Rating: 5
Summary: The Truth Is Revealed, But Choice Is Always Ours
Comment: What I mean by "Truth is revealed, the choice is ours", is the theme of this review. It is also the message in the book, although many readers have misinterpreted the entire theme, believing the co-authors, David P. Barash and Judith E. Lipton, are simply feeding us hard reality and crushing dreams of blissful and faithful marriage. David and Judith are experienced, older scientists, specializing in the observation of birds and apes, with a profound understanding of logic, human emotions, sociobiology and biology in general. They both hold high degrees- Judith has an M.D. and David holds a Ph.D. It is noteworthy, also, that they are a happily married couple and have been so for many years. Their real message and theme from this outstanding book is that although by nature, humans are generally not faithful to their long-term mate (spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend), we have evolved so much that we can chose to be faithful and monogamous to our partner and truly be satisfied, fulfilled and completely happy. Monogamy is not extinct, it is rare. Half of all marriages end in divorce. When a couple has been together for many years, it's world news. It is the greatest partnership, relationship, union, and the most peaceful, happiest and fullest feeling. But it is always the individual's choice. If a partner cannot remain faithful, we now have a reason and explanation for it.
The reason why so many find it difficult to be faithful to their partner for a long time, is biological. Originally, before an evolved society with its ground rules grew from primitive communism, the homo sapien men were polygamous, especially because genetically, nature demanded variety from their offspring. Incest, of course, was formerly practiced to keep a family bloodline, true even to the highest societies, royal dynasties of ancient Egypt, etc. There was a time when free will seemed to bother no one, and men had many wives, shared partners and even shared land. But eventually, power and property was established, much like class systems, and it came to be a violation when someone "outside" the group took one of the wives from another male. Feeling of jealousy and ownership were established and so, when religion began to take over people's consciousness, they labeled this "taking", "adultery". The biological needs of women are important in the scene, as well, in fact, perhaps the most important link. Women's sex cells contain life-giving ovum, enabling them to bear children, and because they are so few and rare in them, they are selective about their sexual/romantic/etc partners. They are far more choosy because it is going to reflect on the ensuing progeny, their children. Men's sperm is abundant and cheap, and they are less selective. It's all down to our biological make-up. This book is very casual about the whole matter and contains not only very scientifically accurate truth, but very genuine humor and witty lines, making reading this book very enjoyable.
This book is very insightful, and opened my eyes about sex, relationships and the many unbreakable "differences" between men and women, such as why do women like tall men ? Why are men so attracted to larger breasts, why are men far more visual and enjoy pornography and why do women act demure and modest in order to attract their mate before showcasing their wild sexual abandon ? These all contain biological reasons. But this does not mean that men are women are not equals, nor are we forever ruled by "animal instincts". We are more intelligent than the animals and have evolved so wonderfully, that we can now chose to be married for a long time with a single mate and live happily ever after.
Rating: 1
Summary: Humans are quite different from birds
Comment: What makes us different from birds and animals is our ability to feel compassion towards one another. A biological explanation of polygamy in birds and animals does little to prove that humans should mindlessly follow their own animal nature. If we did, we wouldn't be much different from animals. Ability to spare our loved ones of the deep hurt that is inevitably caused by infidelity, - and ability to restrain our animal instincts out of compassion towards another human being, - is what makes us human.
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Title: Polyamory: The New Love Without Limits: Secrets of Sustainable Intimate Relationships by Deborah M, Dr. Anapol ISBN: 1880789086 Publisher: Intinet Resource Center Pub. Date: March, 1997 List Price(USD): $16.00 |
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Title: The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities by Dossie Easton, Catherine A. Liszt ISBN: 1890159018 Publisher: Greenery Pr Pub. Date: December, 1998 List Price(USD): $16.95 |
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Title: The New Intimacy : Open-Ended Marriage and Alternative Lifestyles by Ronald Mazur ISBN: 0595001025 Publisher: Author's Choice Press Pub. Date: 13 April, 2000 List Price(USD): $11.95 |
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Title: Anatomy of Love: A Natural History of Mating, Marriage, and Why We Stray by Helen Fisher ISBN: 0449908976 Publisher: Ballantine Books Pub. Date: 03 January, 1994 List Price(USD): $13.95 |
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Title: Open Marriage: A New Life Style for Couples by Nena O'Neill, George O'Neill ISBN: 087131438X Publisher: M Evans & Co Pub. Date: June, 1984 List Price(USD): $16.95 |
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