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Title: The Divorce Culture : Rethinking Our Commitments to Marriage and Family by Barbara Dafoe Whitehead ISBN: 0-679-75168-8 Publisher: Vintage Pub. Date: 03 February, 1998 Format: Paperback Volumes: 1 List Price(USD): $14.00 |
Average Customer Rating: 4.5 (8 reviews)
Rating: 5
Summary: Completely mind-opening
Comment: This book examines families for what they are supposed to be -- stable institutions for the raising of children. Of course, when there is abuse, whether it be chemical, physical, sexual, or emotional, a family cannot function properly. But when parents get divorced to find "personal fulfillment," they do so at the great expense of their children and ultimately society. The book argues for putting children's needs above parents' wants. It's a bit radical, because I believe most of us think of marriages in terms of strictly romance, and when that romance is gone, so is the marriage.
The book examines how the easy culture of divorce leads into other areas of life -- how we divorce friends, family, and jobs much quicker than we used to. But has this great pursuit of happiness, under the guise of divorce, really made us happier? It's taught us that when the going gets rough, it's time to say good-bye. The book examines what happens to children after divorce, and overwhelmingly the children are much worse emotionally and financially, no matter what we want to believe.
My husband of 20 years filed for divorce four months ago (we have four children, all under the age of 14). A friend to whom I will forever remain indebted "made" us both read this book. It simply changed our lives. We've quit being selfish and have resolved to stick by for better AND for worse. Life is far from perfect, but I am 100% certain that all our lives are better now than they would be during and after the turmoil of divorce. The book argues that when children are involved, a home is broken, and since home is a critical element in a child's self-esteem, there is no doubt that a child's self-esteem is affected as well.
Ms. Whitehead deserves a Pulitzer Prize for daring to say what needs to be said to protect our world's most precious commodity: our children. This should be an absolute must-read for anyone even contemplating divorce.
Rating: 5
Summary: After the Divorce, who is really happy?
Comment: I selected this book for a graduate class book report on socio-economic issues that effect education. As an educator, I applaud Whitehead's frank discussion of the stakeholders in the divorce culture; not only the child, but society as well. One place I found evidence of this "culture" is the Texas Attorney General's web site for child support. We have state and federal programs to identify paternity and laws to make absentee parents accountable. As a divorcee, but without children, I was moved by Whitehead's discussion of the search for happiness. When their are children involved, whose happiness can we celebrate?
Rating: 5
Summary: The truth hurts
Comment: One reader criticizes the book as being "moralistic". Darn straight, and it's about time, too. Superb book that challenges the reader to take a long, cold, hard look at the reality of divorce. Of course, those that feel threatened by such a challenge won't "like" it very much, but then again, such a book is not meant to be "liked". It's meant to educate.
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Title: Unexpected Legacy of Divorce, The: 25 Year Landmark Study by Judith S. Wallerstein ISBN: 0786886161 Publisher: Hyperion Pub. Date: September, 2001 List Price(USD): $14.95 |
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Title: Why There Are No Good Men Left : The Romantic Plight of the New Single Woman by Barbara Dafoe Whitehead ISBN: 076790639X Publisher: Broadway Pub. Date: 24 December, 2002 List Price(USD): $22.95 |
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Title: The Case for Marriage: Why Married People Are Happier, Healthier, and Better Off Financially by Linda Waite, Maggie Gallagher ISBN: 0767906322 Publisher: Broadway Pub. Date: 09 October, 2001 List Price(USD): $14.95 |
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Title: The Marriage Problem: How Our Culture Has Weakened Families by James Q. Wilson ISBN: B00008NRH1 Publisher: HarperCollins Pub. Date: March, 2002 List Price(USD): $25.95 |
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Title: Case Against Divorce by Ph.D. Diane Medved ISBN: 0804106339 Publisher: Ivy Books Pub. Date: 28 May, 1990 List Price(USD): $6.99 |
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