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Title: The Manipulative Child : How to Regain Control and Raise Resilient, Resourceful, and Independent Kids by Jr. Ernest W. Swihart, Patrick Cotter ISBN: 0-553-37949-6 Publisher: Bantam Pub. Date: 02 March, 1998 Format: Paperback Volumes: 1 List Price(USD): $15.00 |
Average Customer Rating: 4.23 (13 reviews)
Rating: 5
Summary: A commonsense approach! No psycho-babble here!
Comment: This book sure was an eye opener for my husband and me. Trying to blend two families, plus deal with his 12 year old daughter's behavior exhausted us beyond belief. This book supported what we knew we needed to do. If you are ready to get rid of the guilt that manipulate children feed on, then you are ready to read and apply this advice. Finally we were able to "pull the rug out" from beneath what she thought was her arsenal of tried and true tricks. Tricks that had always work for her, but after reading this book; slowly came to an end. I recommend this book to all stepfamilies and non-stepfamilies where you feel your child is "RUNNING THE SHOW".
Rating: 5
Summary: A Real Eye-Opener
Comment: I cannot tell you how happy I am that I bought this book. I have recommended it so many times, I should get commission, lol.
I have spent the past 2 years trying to gain peace and harmony in my house. As the parent of a highly manipulative, spirited 3 year old, the stress level in the house ultimately depended on his mood. That is, until I bought this book.
The whole book is about how and why kids manipulate and it helps identify reasons why we let them. Every child manipulates in one way or another, but it's those kids who make a career out of it that grow up having difficulties in life. We, as parents, must stop the manipulation so they grow to stand on their own and learn to solve problems so they can grow to be independent and resilient.
In today's world, all kinds of child rearing expert are telling us that we run the risk of damaging our children's self esteem if we discipline them. This just isn't true. Children NEED us to set firm limits on their behavior. It helps them feel secure in their surroundings and teaches them that life is not all about pleasure. They must learn to deal with disappointment if they are to grow up well adjusted and responsible for their actions. We teach them nothing by covering up their bad behavior and allowing them to manipulate their way through life.
This book does a wonderful job of teaching us how to accomplish this. It has many examples throughout the book which made it very enjoyable to read. The method they use is simple, clear and easy to apply. I have had the best 2 days since reading this book and applying what I've learned. I'm looking forward to many more. I feel I'm gaining control of my boys (mostly the 3 year old) and not letting them beat me up anymore with their misbehaviors. And in turn, they are honestly starting to behave better. The whining hasn't completely ended and they still have their moments, but I don't give in at ALL now. They are slowly learning that they can't get a rise out of me. I haven't yelled or screamed at them in 2 days and my stress level has come down dramatically. It's incredible.
So I'll step down off my soapbox now and just say that I recommend this book to everyone. Even if you think your child behaves pretty well, you could still benefit from reading this incredibly eye-opening masterpiece. It has made all the difference in my house.
Rating: 1
Summary: Book for Dog-Trainers, Not Parents
Comment: Do you think your children's needs are mere "manipulation" and sholud be ignored? Do you think the best to do for your child
is offer her/him "firm hierarchies", because "even the dog community" needs them for survival, as this book suggests? Do you think parents have nothing to do with their childrens state of inner stability? If you answer positively to this question, buy the book. I find it repulsive, cruel, unethical, and unprofessional to the point of writing to the book editor about destructive values promoted in it.
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