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Facing Shame: Families in Recovery

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Title: Facing Shame: Families in Recovery
by Merle A. Fossum, Marilyn J. Mason, Carl A. Whitaker
ISBN: 0-393-30581-3
Publisher: W.W. Norton & Company
Pub. Date: June, 1989
Format: Paperback
Volumes: 1
List Price(USD): $14.95
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Average Customer Rating: 5 (4 reviews)

Customer Reviews

Rating: 5
Summary: Enlightening and Sad
Comment: This book is an enlightening first step in understanding a spouse who is driven by perfectionism, anger and control. Reading the book makes you realize it's not their fault -- or yours either. (This does not make their behavior less destructive, but it's easier when you stop blaming them for it.) The person from this type of family does not have the self-awareness to recognize their own destructive impulses, much less develop the skills they need to have healthy relationships. It's like they are pre-programmed to destroy relationships with family and business partners. After reading this book, you realize that you, alone, cannot help your spouse, and if you keep trying to do it alone, you will only become more frustrated and heartbroken. It is a good guideline to begin therapy with a good family counselor, which I believe is the only way to break the cycle.

Rating: 5
Summary: Broad overview to understand the many origins of shame
Comment: Shame has a myriad of origins, this book gives an excellentunderstanding of shame and its effect upon our lives. It helps us todifferentiate the important difference between guilt and shame. Shame deeply effects our self esteem as well as how we view others and eventually our success in life. John Bradshaw, who is also an excellent writer, in his book regarding shame mostly limits his approach to those from alcoholic families. In this book, not only is this area covered but many other areas along with the developmental dynamics of shame and shame-based behaviors. Not coming from an alcoholic family I did not understand my own deep feelings of shame until I read this book. I highly recommend it for any persons who wish to understand themselves better on their road to becoming a more complete, self-accepting and healthy person.

Rating: 5
Summary: An excellent, concise handling of a multi-facted problem.
Comment: The authors do an excellent job of raising awareness of how shame impacts family relationships. Their limited, but well focused use of graphs and case studies allows them to relay a great deal of information to the reader in a concise but very understandable manner.

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