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Title: The Grace in Dying : How We Are Transformed Spiritually as We Die by Kathleen D. Singh ISBN: 0-06-251565-9 Publisher: Harper SanFrancisco Pub. Date: 01 April, 2000 Format: Paperback Volumes: 1 List Price(USD): $15.95 |
Average Customer Rating: 4.71 (17 reviews)
Rating: 5
Summary: An excellent resource book
Comment: Unless you believe that when we die, we cease to exist(period, end of life), and whether or not you work with the terminally ill, this book is a must read. This book does not tell us other people's stories, nor is it for those who are dying, or dealing with the immediate death of a loved one. It is for the rest of us. Be advised - this is not an easy read - my copy of the book, which took 5 times longer to read than my usual reading choice - is riddled with scribbled comments, question-marks, exclamation points, and words circled and underlined. Let me also add, this is not my style. I'm a lazy reader.
This is a well-written course in the evolution and retrogression of our individual lives, for (deny it though we might), you and I are going to die. The questions that worry us most are most probably "when" and "how." Singh cannot answer the former, but this book will help with parts of the latter.
Much of what Singh tells us is based on experiences of those who have worked with those who are terminally ill, in addition to her own observations. Whether we believe in Jesus, Buddha, Mohammed, a Higher Power, Nature, Singh maintains that the point of dying is to return us to the place from which we came.
She reminds us that we come into the world thinking we are the center of the Universe. Perhaps we were right, for it may be that at birth we are as close to the Creator as we will get, until death takes us back. She describes how we spend our youth and young adult life developing, then defending our sense of self. We live, often most pleasantly, in constant denial of our own mortality, a truth that seems too bleak to accept.
In the latter part of life, we may hold tightly to our ego, but our body begins to betray us. If we are slowly dying of cancer, AIDS, or the illnesses of old age, we can grow into acceptance of the insulting truth that our ego is not the true "us." One dying woman described it as having an "ego-ectomy.
Singh presents us with additional stages of dying, expanding on Elizabeth Kubler-Ross' denial; anger; bargaining; depression; acceptance. Kubler-Ross' stages dealt with the affects on the ego, or mind; medical science gives us physical stages. Singh offers the theory that we go through necessary spiritual stages before dying, whether or not we have been looking for spiritual transformation. Dying offers us a crash course, the equivalent of a spiritual shotgun wedding.
When we are stripped of everything we thought made us unique, a universal specialness is revealed. Regardless of when it happens - years, months or seconds from our death - we will come to realize the unimportance of what was once important. And despite ourselves we will stumble upon our own unity with that Force we call many things - God, Universe, Light.
I feel more convinced than ever that death is not a negative, dark force I must flail against, but the other side of living, a door I must go through. That I'll figure it out at the end doesn't encourage me to stop seeking now - perhaps my exit/entrance will go better if I stop running from my fear of death, and truly live my life. This book is an excellent start in learning now how to make our own living fuller, so we will be closer to home when we die.
Rating: 5
Summary: Before You Go...A Must Read....
Comment: Unless you believe that when we die, we cease to exist (period, end of life), and whether or not you work with the terminally ill, this book is a must read. This book does not tell us other people's stories, nor is it for those who are dying, or dealing with the immediate death of a loved one. It is for the rest of us. Be advised - this is not an easy read - my copy of the book, which took 5 times longer to read than my usual reading choice - is riddled with scribbled comments, question-marks, exclamation points, and words circled and underlined. Let me also add, this is not my style. I'm a lazy reader.
This is a well-written course in the evolution and retrogression of our individual lives, for (deny it though we might), you and I are going to die. The questions that worry us most are most probably "when" and "how." Singh cannot answer the former, but this book will help with parts of the latter.
Much of what Singh tells us is based on experiences of those who have worked with those who are terminally ill, in addition to her own observations. Whether we believe in Jesus, Buddha, Mohammed, a Higher Power, Nature, Singh maintains that the point of dying is to return us to the place from which we came.
She reminds us that we come into the world thinking we are the center of the Universe. Perhaps we were right, for it may be that at birth we are as close to the Creator as we will get, until death takes us back. She describes how we spend our youth and young adult life developing, then defending our sense of self. We live, often most pleasantly, in constant denial of our own mortality, a truth that seems too bleak to accept.
In the latter part of life, we may hold tightly to our ego, but our body begins to betray us. If we are slowly dying of cancer, AIDS, or the illnesses of old age, we can grow into acceptance of the insulting truth that our ego is not the true "us." One dying woman described it as having an "ego-ectomy.
Singh presents us with additional stages of dying, expanding on Elizabeth Kubler-Ross' denial; anger; bargaining; depression; acceptance. Kubler-Ross' stages dealt with the affects on the ego, or mind; medical science gives us physical stages. Singh offers the theory that we go through necessary spiritual stages before dying, whether or not we have been looking for spiritual transformation. Dying offers us a crash course, the equivalent of a spiritual shotgun wedding.
When we are stripped of everything we thought made us unique, a universal specialness is revealed. Regardless of when it happens - years, months or seconds from our death - we will come to realize the unimportance of what was once important. And despite ourselves we will stumble upon our own unity with that Force we call many things - God, Universe, Light.
I feel more convinced than ever that death is not a negative, dark force I must flail against, but the other side of living, a door I must go through. That I'll figure it out at the end doesn't encourage me to stop seeking now - perhaps my exit/entrance will go better if I stop running from my fear of death, and truly live my life. This book is an excellent start in learning now how to make our own living fuller, so we will be closer to home when we die.
Rating: 4
Summary: Jargon update for Platonists
Comment: Assuming the Platonic narrative is an important aid to those who are dying over an extended gentle period Singh incorporates much of the vocabulary -- from pop-psychology and philosophy -- to build a coherent picture that must certainly soothe us as we die. Here, at the point where Aristotle would challenge us to recognize our soul ends with the body and accept that our soul was past tense -- a narrative sure to depress those who enjoyed life and wish for eternity -- reiterating the Platonic narrative using current idioms is a great service to our dying process. The reassurance that this interpretation of the narrative is persuasive depends on accepting Singh's expereinces which we cannot duplicate. Indeed, those who have had such experience, being present at many deaths, have told me they did not share such experience. But it is a safe argument since we cannot test it. It is beleivable to those who wish to beleive it and that may be enough.
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Title: Final Gifts : Understanding the Special Awareness, Needs, and Communications of the Dying by Patricia Kelley, Maggie Callanan ISBN: 0553378767 Publisher: Bantam Pub. Date: 03 February, 1997 List Price(USD): $14.95 |
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Title: Dying Well: Peace and Possibilities at the End of Life by Ira, M.D. Byock ISBN: 1573226572 Publisher: Riverhead Books Pub. Date: March, 1998 List Price(USD): $15.00 |
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Title: The Needs of the Dying : A Guide For Bringing Hope, Comfort, and Love to Life's Final Chapter by David Kessler ISBN: 0060958219 Publisher: Quill Pub. Date: 01 October, 2000 List Price(USD): $13.00 |
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Title: How We Die : Reflections on Life's Final Chapter by Sherwin B. Nuland ISBN: 0679742441 Publisher: Vintage Pub. Date: 15 January, 1995 List Price(USD): $14.00 |
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Title: What Dying People Want: Practical Wisdom for the End of Life by David, MD Kuhl ISBN: 1586481193 Publisher: PublicAffairs Pub. Date: 02 July, 2002 List Price(USD): $25.00 |
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